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Larkspur

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I sat on the edge of the creek by your building
Holding my face to juxtapose the heat
Exhale all I know
I guess you're waiting alone in your room
Could you ever replace me
It seemed like you wanted to

And every night
As I'm about to fall asleep
I'll think of you with someone new
Then I watch the sun rising
I'm alive
As the months and months and months roll by
There's not a day that I don't think of us
Forever unequipped to handle this

I sat on the edge of the fountain on Monroe
The weight of your distrust forced its way through the phone
The future just fell through the cracks
But of course, it's like you say
You just don't feel that way whenever I'm away

I sat at the edge of the drain in my shower
Relapsing this month on stark disbelief
All it took to hold back every thought I have ever had
Of killing myself
Was sleeping in your bed

And every night
As I'm about to fall asleep
I'll think of you with someone new
Then I watch the sun rising
I'm alive
As the months and months and months roll by
There's not a day that I don't think of us
Forever unequipped to handle this

I just assumed we'd be married
Poised in your car in that liquor store parking lot
Disrobed and pining for comfort
Lonely and simply too young to understand

I bleached the counters in August
Packed all our things into boxes so neatly
To finally leave our apartment
To take you to your new apartment

An approximation of drowning
The line went quiet
I could feel gravity
I said I won't make you say it
You always struggled with finality

I just assumed we'd be married
Now I need to have a reason to talk to you
I'll purge every memory of ours
All I saw on my drive home were sunflowers

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