I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General [From the Pirates of ...]

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Royal Philharmonic Orchestra

The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (RPO) is a British orchestra based in London. It tours widely, and is sometimes referred to as "The Nation's Favourite Orchestra". The British Hit Singles & Albums noted that it was "formed in 1946 by Sir Thomas Beecham, who wanted a first rate ensemble that would attract the country's top musicians." Since his death, it has come under various music maestros including André Previn and Louis Clark (who was behind its biggest sellers). more »

Year:

2004

3:00

312 Views

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#3

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I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I'm very well-acquainted too with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parablous
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore

Then I can write a washing bill in Balylonic cuneiform
And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin"
When I can tell at sight a chassepôt rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee-

For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General

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