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Feigning Grace

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Nothing like WebMD at 3 AM
To confirm I'm not alright
Laying in my bed still fully clothed
Too weak to get the light
But I'm not going down without a fight
So I'll text Liv that I'm alright
Just a little shaken up
A little caught up in my head

Less scared of death than I am of god
A little too afraid of your knowing nod
One that tells me that things might
Not just work out on their own
And I feel it slip from my sweaty hands
The intrinsic value of my social plans
I just gotta get up and go
I don't want to be alone

Sometimes I wish it wasn't so hard to just pick up the phone

But it'll be alright
Or at least it'll have to be
'Cause I'm running out of options
And my body's getting weak
And it's never going away
I still feel it in my chest
I'm sick of learning things the hard way
Some days it's just so hard to be

And as I retrace my steps back to 8th
I think of that same look that was on your face
One that told me that I might be
In this for the long haul
And we know it now like we knew it then
It's not an argument of break or bend
It's just a little darker than that
Yeah just a little more macabre
And lately, I don't have much to say at all

But it'll be alright
Or at least it'll have to be
'Cause I'm running out of options
And my body's getting weak
And it's never going away
I still feel it in my chest
I'm sick of learning things the hard way
Some days it's just so hard to be

So take your bets, and do it fast
'Cause time's running short
And there's no promise that
When tomorrow comes
I'll be drawing breath
If I'm being honest

But it'll be alright
Or at least it'll have to be
'Cause I'm running out of options
And my body's getting weak
And it's never going away
(So take your bets)
I still feel it in my chest
(And do it fast)
I'm sick of learning things the hard way
('Cause time's running short)
Some days it's just so hard to be
(It always is)

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