Through My Eyes

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22Smoke

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They begging for a happy song but I've been in a different mood
A song that they can sing along but only in the coldest room
Disgusted by my previous past
Heart shattered like broken glass
Heart right on my sleeve but it's protected with some plexiglass
Insecure and hoping I can live out and fulfill my dreams
Pray that I don't get killed and show up on both my parents screen
But I've been feeling dead inside moving as a broken teen
Thought I'd have some support but been apart of this solo team
My girl been looking for love but it's hard when I can't love myself
She hates when I want a drink I'm stumbling tryna reach the shelf
Vision so cloudy from this weed and all the pain I dealt
Hoping you will still want me even as my darkest self
I've been mostly faded hoping I don't lose any of my precious time
Hope to make a song a hit so I can get whats always mine
But I've been dealing with negetivity that's weighing down my mind
Grandma watching over see me sad but I'll still always try
To get myself through it but I can't stand all this pain inside
So I've been driving round town hoping to finally find my meaning
Crossfaded daily anxiety is my only feeling
Both me and my family sad from a recent past dealing
So I'm rapping on the mic the only way I release my feelings
Crying out to god cause he's helped me with all that special healing
Since the days you've been away it's only been a different feeling
Every single night I lay awake I'm looking at the ceiling

I'm staring at these pictures hope to let these memories fade
Traveling down my deepest paths on this lonely road I paved
Hoping that god will help me with this pain on all my darkest days
I swear imma meet defeat as soon as I see all my family fade

I swear I'm sorry pops for all the pain that I would put you through
Promise imma get a bag and give a bunch of pay to you
I hate it when we fight it's like every day is a pay per view
But i would walk through hell and back to spend the rest of my days with you
Always gave me support and never failed to  just give me love
I'm sorry to my momma too for the tears when I just caught a charge
Imma beat this case after I pay off on my final bond
Been struggling fighting battles but they say that I will come back strong
Im waiting for the day where they finally decide to put me on
So my family have my money on the day I pass along
Never forget the sleepless nights
Hotboxing in somebodies ride
My past self was addicted to the thrill and drive
Been through to much pain they couldn't see another loss of life
But I've been dying everytime a shawty make me feel victimized
But I had to change myself cuz there was a day that I almost died
Broke my own heart seeing tears out my families eyes

I'm staring at these pictures hope to let these memories fade
Traveling down my deepest paths on this lonely road I paved
Hoping that god will help me with this pain on all my darkest days
I swear imma meet defeat as soon as I see all my family fade

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