I Don't Miss You

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$ammie

3:26

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I think I understand what I want from life
Before I was satisfied with you by my side
But with this time alone
I got little intimate with myself
I got a little intimate without ya help
That's when I realized
I don't really miss you no more
I don't wanna kiss you no more
I don't wanna touch you no more
You're no longer that girl that I adored
You're no longer someone I wanna explore
Promise I'd changed for you & I did that
But you still wanted breaks we are not a Kit Kat
I was stuck remincing times I'll never get back
I was so lost all my feelings they were kidnapped
Too many holidays went by
& instead of celebrating I was mourning you & I
I don't think you missed me
Like you say you did
Cause if you really did
Then we'd be more than this
Like 9PM we would've close this Gap
Thought we would do it big
Thought we was so Imax
Either way I'm over it never looking back
Took some time but I healed from all of that
Yea I know that I made mistakes
& yea I know that you can't be replaced
It's unfair of you to judge the younger me
On your current standards of what you wanted from me
& no it's not an excuse I sponge all the blame
But over all the years that multiplied my pain
All of my confidence was stripped away
& I was made to believe I'll never be the same
All of these thoughts that I implant in my brain
Had me burning through years of life I'll never regain
& I know the past will always stay the same
But recordings I've made they symbolize my change
Used to be so afraid & question what I'll become
Father wasn't around scared that's the trait I'll pick up
& leave a woman with a seed I'll never watch grow up
I was thinking extreme my mind was so X games
Love's a 2 player sport & I was always away
Learned my past can't be discarded it's something that stays
I wore the mask to portray the flowers I never gave
Now it shows how I bloom after all this rain
It's been 4 years we now in 21
Shed so many tears could've extinguished the sun
Developed too many fears so with new women I run
That's why relations always end before they even begun
I had PTSD trying fall back in love
I was so insecure reflecting on what I've done
I was damaging women with unintentional schemes
Never meant to deceive I thought that I would be free
But I learned acceptance doesn't start with others but me
So in the middle of my fall I decided to spring clean
I was looking for a fox to handle all my pain
I was looking for a way to make it all go away
But I accepted my past & it molded the current me
Left the Heartbreak Motel I vacant the scene

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