Spontaneous Thoughts of Realization

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Ethan Thatcher

3:30

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Conflicted
Wistfully drifting southward
Decisions, my vision is missing, doubter
I'm hearing deliriously dreary thoughts
That are pulling me backwards
Here we are right at the start

I've not grown
I've shown lack of self-control
I had it but trapped when I was left alone
Ignored it, toured a place I shouldn't go
Floored it, towards the place I've always known

I should've stopped these thoughts
I got lots of them
Lost in pity
I shocked my own doctrine
Locked him up to block my conscience
And quashed what I fought for thoughtless of consequence

I didn't need acceptance except when it came into question
And thoughts of rejection
Had made me feel less than
Pressed for an answer I faltered
My rhythm and rhyme, it was altered

She broke up but I still continued to help her
She loved me but left me 'cause he could just melt her
But she didn't trust him with all of her problems
And she was dependent on me to help solve them

Searching for purpose, I helped her at first
But I had my own issues, and my issues, she skipped through
I went through depression not knowing what to do
I lost my best friend but she's still in my life?

Fast forward she doesn't need me anymore which
Only led me to feeling unimportant
Unneeded, depleted, without help
I just dove deeper into damaging my health

My well-being blown away with the wind
The feeling of defeat was just now setting in
And I realized my punishment from deep within
I dropped all I had for a pitiful sin

Back at the beginning, I finally just had to let her go
That part of my life is over, I need an antidote
I know where my remedy is, that's where I'm headed for
I'm running back to Jesus, my wandering is over

(I'm lost and I'm losing control)
(I'm running with my hands tied)
(Yeah I need Jesus)
(Carry me, carry me, carry me)
(I say I'm fine, but inside)
(People try to pull you down)
(My peace comes from, my peace comes from)
(Take it all away)
(No I can't escape it, but I'll be alright)
(You can't drag me down)
(I'm sorry for saying goodbye)
It's over

Jesus, I need healing
I need loving
I need something Lord

Jesus, I need healing
I need loving
I need something Lord

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