Send It Back

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3:18

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Send it back
Yeah we're sending it back
"Oh yeah, we just sent it back"
Don't worry somebody's probably fixing it in the back
This one came with hair in it
This one had glass in it
This tastes like soap
This one has grass in it
This one had something that floats
You can always send it back
I've been known to send it back
Look see- they just sent it back
Trust me really I do it all the time
I think if you had less than half it's okay to do it
Give it back and get another
There's always more
This glass has a chip
This is supposed to have dip
This has too much pepper
And I don't like the texture
This is different than described on the menu
Back to the kitchen I send you
This dust fell from above
I want pita instead of a bun
This doesn't feel cooked through
Can we be moved to a window or booth
I'd like a better view
Can you charge my phone at the bar
And hows about some free dessert
Like maybe a lemon tart
Or something with rhubarb
Or a different citrus-based custard
So please I do ask you
To send it back
If not I'd like to speak to some kind of manager
Please tell the maitre'd it's just not how I imagined it
I mean I used to come here all the time
You don't recognize my face
You must be new here
I used to own this place
I just wanted something different
Maybe something less specific
A bit more like what I'm used to
More like what you choosed too
They'll comp it without questions asked
Should we tip I mean...we had to send it back
I don't know why
I don't see why it's that big of an issue
Such a point of contention
Why must we split hairs over this
I know there's everyone else here to tend to as well
But these are small simple requests
I have come here dozens of times
And these requests were never a problem before
Who used to do that for me
You don't know them- it was before you were here
Besides, I'm a local fixture
Yes, people do come here for the food
But they don't come here just for the food
They come here to see me
Can you
Split the check
Bill three ways
That's my card
Can you
Split the check
Bill three ways
That's my card

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