Amused

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Shockocracy

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Uh, hey everybody
Uh, I'm going through the no cash lane on the New Jersey Turnpike
Just comin' back from collecting evidence in my Mom's attempted murder
And uh, passing it along to the detectives
So anyway, um, strange, oh shit
In a quarter of a mile, please keep to the left 
and follow Route 440 toward Garden Stare Parkway
See, she just talks, she just interrupts all the time, and I'm sorry, she's just
She's yappy, kind of yappy
and I am on an interchange of the New Jersey Turn
Please keep to the right
Shit, they want me to keep to the right
So I'm trying to keep to the right
but right now I have to turn left, and here's why I have to turn left
In my life
Please follow the current road until further instructed
I'm tryin', lady, but listen, in my life that's hard
ok, do you understand,  because I wanna do different things and I'm not
Please continue straight and then keep to the right
But that implies that I'm supposed to be conservative
Please keep to the right
I don't want to be conservative
I'm trying to be neutral, honey
Do you understand? I'm tryin' to be neutral in this world, not uh
Please follow the current road for one mile
Well, OK, that's reasonable, I can do that
I can follow the current road for one mile, thats, that's fair
Oh, shit
Prepare to exit on the right at exit 1A
I don't wanna exit on the right
I wanna exit on the left
In half a mile, exit on the right at exit 1A
Uh uh
No no no no no
I'm not doin' it
I'm goin' straight
I'm not goin' to the right or the left
And I'm gonna shut you up because you're a bad nav system tellin' me
Please exit on the right
I'm not doing it, I'm a neutral
And you're done
Alright listen, I'm in charge of my own car again
And because I'm in charge of my own car again
I'm gonna continue going straight
The only way I know how to go straight is 
to treat my whole life like it's my sworn testimony
The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God
By the way, George Washington added that
So help me God, because he was a Freemason
Under oath, he added so help me God
Dummies
And I'm a Freemason too
There are people who actually believe what they're saying
Not just liars in the world
I am not one of the liars
If you treat me like one of the liars
I might roar at you with all of the ferocity of a true Lion of Judah
Shield, spear, sword,
slingshot
You name it, Goliath, I'm coming for you
And that's how I know I'm a true advocate in this world
I have not been chained to things like reputation
Once you decide everyone else is stupid
Or you decide that everyone else is brilliant, you've made your decision
I have decided to believe everyone else is as brilliant as I am
Now, if that's not true, we'll
then don't parlay with me about things that you don't understand
I know the law deeper than most lawyers
I worship the shit
So, if you're working in the realm of plausible deniability
I would say that my Courtroom in my head, for you
Is about to run dry of, uh, can we say oxygen
Because I take up all the oxygen in the room
And if you put me in any position to speak out publicly against you
You have a problem, ask anybody
I don't know anybody who doesn't read a report 
And know what I think at the end
Never ever, in my life, have I not been clear in my communications

So, as a trained journalist
As a sike-ologist, whatever that's worth in the politically correct environment
that is clinical sike-ology
As a non-adherent of the right or the left
Frankly, I wish there weren't one or the other
As a person who's deciding to go straight
In my head, I have a courtroom
And I would like to play the parts of all of the triad

So, bang bang bang bang bang, the gavel
Alright, ladies and gentlemen, have you taken your oaths
Yes, your honor
Alright, who's on the witness stand first
The prosecution calls Dr. Randolph Shipon
So then, this miserable
Sickly creature with tumors all over his body literally dying in front of you
Is led into the courtroom in chains
He has probably a terminal illness, but hasn't been diagnosed yet
And his brother and sister-in-law just attempted 
To kill his parents, by all evidence
He's being led into the room, in shackles
In a dirty, like, bathrobe
And it looks like somebody smeared feces on his face
And the judge says
Bailiff, how can you bring a witness in looking like this
Has this man been abused
And the bailiff says, well, no
Ever since the Trump administration
We don't have any human rights rules for prisoners
So here's, uh, Dr. Shipon, presented as-is, just like a rental agreement
That's a joke for my landlord, anyway
So, as is, Dr. Shipon comes in, stumbles up to the um
To the box, you know, the witness stand
And the judge is just looking repulsed
Bailiff, can we not get this man a shower 
Before he presents himself in my courtroom
No, your honor, the budget's been cut for that, we don't have plumbing anymore
Very well, then
So then the judge puts on his COVID mask, like the N95 or whatever
Bailiff, is the witness properly seated
Yes, your honor
Has he taken his oath
Your honor, the witness has taken an oath never to lie in his life
Oh, one of those Freemasons again
Yes, your honor
The kind that actually know what it is, or the kind that just show up
This one appears to be the kind that actually knows 
What the oaths mean, your honor
Very well
Dr. Shipon, we regret to inform you
That you have been presented to the court at a time 
When we have no budget for human rights
That's alright, your honor, I'm used to the treatment by everybody I know
But sir, you're a distinguished scholar, author
You have helped thousands of people in your life, in your professions
You are well-known and frankly, a treasure of the State of New Jersey
Why would you say that
And I'd say

Well, it kind of goes like this
I can't help singin' about the things I know
And so it goes, and so it goes
And no one knows, and no one knows

Bailiff, is this man sane
Yes, your honor, he's quite sane
He can write the tests that test if you're sane

Bailiff, is this man a genius
Yes he is
He's gifted and talented since he was a kid

Bailiff, is this man rhyming with us
Yes he is
Yes he is

Bailiff, is this man now singing with us
Yes he is
Yes he is

Bailiff, is this a Muse
Yes it is
Yes it is

Bailiff, is this a Muse
Yes it is
Yes it is

Bailiff, I'm not amused
Yes you are
Yes you are
You're beMused
Yes you are
You you are

I became like this because I was born under a star, under a star
I am a Libra, I am like this, because I was born under the Justice Star
I am a star in that star
I am a star in that star
I'm one of the stars because of my scars

I was a victim
I was abused
And I'm not amused anymore

I was a Muse
A victim, and abused
I was abused
But I'm no longer bemused

You can't tell me
That you're peein' on my shoe, but it's rainin'
I know it's the pee

You can't tell me
That you're peein' on my shoe, but it's rainin'
I know you're peein' on me

You can't tell me
That you're peein' on my shoe
I know that you're peein' on me

You can't tell me
That it's just my shoe
I know you're really peein' on me

Come against my reputation
That's a killer
You don't know the killer I am

Come against my reputation
I can sink nations
My mind certainly can

Come against me and I'll put you on my reputation
You'll become a notch on the post
Come against me, and you'll be a notch in my reputation post
And I'll love you the most

You're just adding to my power
Though you may tower
Over me

You're just adding to my attention power
Even though you tower over me

I'm something you've never seen in this nation
My power of Creation is untold
I'm something you've never seen in this Creation
I am a Nation, and I'm so Old

I hope you were amused
By the Muse
Floating out through me
It's hard for me to see
That you are

I hope that you were amused
By my out-of-tune
Ahhh

I should stop talking now
I should close the gates
Close the gates
Close the gates
Close the gates
I've closed the gates
It's time to investigate

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