Grandpa's Facebook

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Kirt Connor

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I love my grandpa
When I was a kid I would spend most of my time
Over at his house
He'd give me lots of ice cream, let me stay up past my bedtime
But lately grandpa's changed
Ever since he went online, he hasn't been the same

Grandpa's Facebook
It's full of pixelated memes and political rants.
Grandpa's Facebook
It's lots of pictures of me as a kid in my underpants.
And I know it's probably funny for the older folks
But pops all the stuff you post has been debunked by Snopes.
Grandpa don't you understand
If you keep on posting this shit you're gonna get banned

He's blissfully ignorant of what the internet is or even how it works
Here's a picture of Obi-Wan that he thinks is Jesus
Here's a cartoon of Obama and the caption has the N-word? Oh my god
Grandpa is mentally ill
But it I don't like and share it then I'm out of the will
So thumbs up I guess

Grandpa's Facebook
Says that kids become mass shooters cause of video games and
Grandpa's Facebook
Says millennials are lazy and they don't have no brains
And I know the guys from bingo think it's funny as well
And I love you but I'm pretty sure you're going to hell
You say things that I can't condone
Oh why oh why did Mom get you and iPhone

Grandpa, why
Every time you post another meme, it makes me wanna cry, and
Grandpa Please
Is this an early sign of Alzheimer's disease

Grandpa is gone now
Passed in his sleep, he didn't feel any pain
But he'll always be with me
I know that he loved me, even if he was insane

And grandpa may be gone
But thanks to Mark Zuckerburg, his memory lives on
Not exactly how I had hoped, but

Grandpa's Facebook
Is the reason that we put him in the old folks home
Grandpa's Facebook
If Jesus could read this then he'd really be boned
Grandpa's Facebook
I wish I could say that he's just old and confused
But on Grandpa's Facebook
He hated Mexicans, Muslims, and especially Jews

And I love him even though I know that he was wrong
And he'd hate me if he ever heard me sing this song
But I love him anyway
Could you imagine how mad he'd be if I'd turned out gay

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