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Lucidity

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Look at my reflection I don't know who's lookin' back
I'm holding on to questions that I know I need to ask
I wish I could express it but I'm keepin' on my mask
I'm ready for redemption but not facin' all the facts
There's a person that's inside me, scared to show itself
But that piece of me is hiding, I know I'm overwhelmed
And I feel like I've been driving with no guidance and no help
So last night I sat in silence now I'm crying by myself
Now I'm lookin' at my dreams thinkin' I won't ever make it
My life has got this theme where my heart is always breakin'
I don't know what it means, I just know that I can't take it
I don't know what I need, so I'm stuck and can't escape it
I'm pacin', I'm just thinking 'bout my thoughts
I don't even understand, what's the point of moving on
And I wish I was connected but accepted that I'm lost
Cause I've always been obsessive, now I understand the cost
When I'm livin' like this
Been a long time, I've forgotten who I am
I don't wanna die, but I know don't wanna live
Wish I had you close, you forgot that I exist
Got me feeling crazy, how the f*ck could you forget
Everything we been through, now don't know my name
Told me I was special, nothing is the same
Nothing could be better cause nothing ever change
Memories of us, that's something I can't take
Late nights just driving got nobody by my side
Never trusted since I met you, thinkin' I could be alright
But this loneliness is killin' me, I'm barely getting by
I just want someone to hold me, tell me that I'm doing fine
Tell me pretty lies, tell me that I do enough
Tell me that I'm worth it when I feel like I'm not good enough
Tell me that I'm capable when I feel like I'm giving up
When I get unstable, that's the time that I start missin' us and wish that I could
Take a time machine to see what I'm forgettin'
See the moment we were broken and I start regressin'
All I know is I was jealous, now I learned my lesson
But I know you hold regret with all the time invested
But this talk is cheap, I know I missed my chance
We could try again but there's no way of goin' back
So I sit here by myself thinking bout the past
Now I see that I'm the reason that we couldn't last
F*ck
Been a long time, I've forgotten who I am
I don't wanna die, but I know don't wanna live
Wish I had you close, you forgot that I exist
Got me feeling crazy, how the f*ck could you forget
Everything we been through, now don't know my name
Told me I was special, nothing is the same
Nothing could be better cause nothing ever change
Memories of us, that's something I can't take

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