Whittlin' Man

Stephen LynchStephen Lynch 

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Stephen Lynch

Stephen Lynch is an American comedian, singer, and songwriter known for his humorous and often satirical songs. He combines witty and clever lyrics with acoustic guitar to create his distinctive musical style. His songs cover a wide range of topics, including relationships, pop culture, and everyday life situations. Stephen Lynch has released several albums and has performed in both comedy clubs and theaters. more »

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In the woods of Northern Michigan he made his home
Didn't ask much from the world, just wanted to be alone
Got his first real blade at 13, that's when it all began
Soon the creatures of the forest called him Whittlin' Man

He whittle all day and he whittle all night
He whittle whittle whittle everything in sight
He whittle on a stick and he whittle on a shoe
And if you come too close he gonna whittle you too

Keep a safe distance if you can
'Cause you're never safe around Whittlin' Man

Had a stump to sit on, had some wood, had his trusty knife
He whittled out a house, a car, and he whittled himself a wife
He whittled out 4 kids, a swimming pool, and a big Lear jet
And so he wouldn't miss Saved By The Bell well he whittled a TV set

He whittle if it's light and he whittle if it's dark
And if Noah were around well he'd whittle him an ark
He whittle something new and he whittle something old
He whittle something hot and he whittle something rather chilly

Keep a safe distance if you can
'Cause you're never safe around Whittlin' Man

Some say Whittlin' Man's a genius - still others say he's just dumb
He's whittled off a foot, an ear, three fingers, and his left thumb
But that won't stop him - no it won't - he'll whittle through thick and thin
And once he's whittled everything he'll just whittle it all again

He whittle if it's white and he whittle if it's black
He whittle on a duck until the duck can't quack
He whittle if it's dry and he whittle if it's juicy
He whittle on Desi and he whittle on Lucy

He whittle JFK and he whittle Jackie O
He whittle on Larry and Curly and Moe
He whittle Frank Zappa and he whittle Tipper Gore
He whittle whittle whittle 'til he can't no more

He whitle on Shamu and he whittle on Jaws
He whittle Easter Bunny and he whittle Santa Claus
He whittle whittle whittle just as fast as he can
He whittle 'til he's dead, he's
Whittlin' Man

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