Conversation Concerning the State of Suicide in Our Society

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The Attackbots

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Hello, welcome
Yes, this song has lots of intense suicidal stuff
So I mean you're welcome
But you're also welcome to skip this because
You know, we mention cops at one point and
Yeah, it's, it's an intense time
So yeah
Here it is

Why do we have to die alone
I've got a better idea for how we can record it
We can do alternate lines
Okay, but going on
Why do we have to die alone
Here's your baked beans
Right, thank you for my baked beans
I'll get the noodles ready
Thank you
We die alone because it's illegal
For you to be with us when we die
So we don't invite you to our deaths
We die alone

I'm very grateful for your baked beans
So I think actually Heinz
Those small pods from Heinz
Yeh
Are a really good mental health food
Which is why I'm trying to advertise them right now
Do you know what
I think you're, I think you're saying the truth
What
Molly
You used to be so obedient
I really do I see why Roisin liked these
Yeah
They're actually really tasty
I think I actually made Roisin a whole bowl of them
That was the impressive thing
Oh wow
Well I made myself one of these I think yesterday or today
And it really helped just sort of get nutrients
Or whatever they are into my system
And that was good
See what's going to happen is
This is going to probably end up being quite a long track
And I'll just record some cool music around it
Sweet
And it'll be fun
Sweet
So we just need to basically ignore that it's on
Until you're finished eating them
And then we'll just work through it together

Hello there
Cause, correct me if I'm wrong
But it didn't really sound like you knew what you were saying each time
Mm-mm, I did not
But I think a sort of dialogue would work better
Yeah it would work a lot better, I agree with you
But like I said, I need to eat something before
Yes, yes, yes
If that's okay
Naturally
Oh, the shit noodles are almost ready
Thank you
Sigh, yeh, I want this, like
I'm beginning to want this album to be more like something that you just like
It's like something you have on and you just spend time with
And it feels like you're hanging out with the people in the album
Yeh that makes sense
Like, we're not performing at you
We're just, um, we're just sort of living with you
But not
I don't know how to say it
I understand, I understand

Right
Um, this is very important, so um
'Cause I don't think I've ever heard anyone say it
The words I'm about to repeat are not improvised
I am being very precise when I say the following
About society's fucked up way of treating suicidal people
Suicide, bleh

How is our society fucked up in the way it treats us
It judges us for starters
Society is deeply hypocritical
It complains that we traumatize people 
When they find our bodies or see us killing ourselves
But you offer us no alternative way to die
Yeh
But like, like, argh
Every way you try to kill yourself people are like
Oh you can't do that because people will find you
And it's like the let me die in some sort of officially sanctioned way
Where I don't have to do that, you don't
Yes, I agree, I fucking agree
Is there any way to die selflessly
With regards to rules with society
F*ck your hypocrisy
You say you would sooner put in place better mental health services
Yeah right
Yeah
They don't exist as far as I know anyway
But you don't campaign for that do you
It's just, the people who say this don't campaign for it
They just, they don't vote for it or anything
They're just like, you know I just believe that we should invest more in that
Rather than being like, okay let's invest more in that 
So we don't have to legalise euthanasia
Like, they're just inconsistent
And that inconsistency throws people like me non-fatally under the bus
Which is the wrong kind of way I want to be thrown under the bus
Yeah, yeah, yeah
That makes sense even though we are laughing it makes total fucking sense
Which means from our end you're just being a cunt infested asshole
Because we're still left with no way to die well
What were you gonna say
I was gonna say people are cunts
They really are and it's not because they mean to be cunts
It's because they don't realise 
That their meaning well means that we suffer horribly
And also that our loved ones suffer horribly
Amen
And you sit there expecting us to put all the effort into staying alive
How do we do that
I don't know, don't ask me
I'm chronically suicidal as well
Like, you have to be so inventive to not
Kill yourself
Yeh, like, I've come up with so many ideas
I know, me too
Really elaborate ones
Oh same
Just to stop myself from killing myself
And people don't
Appreciate it
They don't appreciate it and they don't help you with it much
No, they really don't
The psychiatric services give up on you pretty quickly if you're suicidal
Egh, that's a friggin' understatement
They don't say that explicitly but it is what happens
I mean the fact 
That I've been in and out of A and E three times at least this week
Speaks for itself

Er, and you've been discharged
Mm-hm
Every single time
Seriously
Yeah
Never in the ward once
Nope
Three attempts in one week
Yep, it's a joke
Yeah
Shout out to the, what's it even called
The Royal Infirmary, that place
The Royal Infirmary
It's not that royal
I've not had the pleasure
Yeh good
Keep it that way
Yeh, I'm just staying in Partick
Yeh, just, just do that
Just end up at the QEH
They might actually treat you nicely
Well they don't treat me at all at the moment apart from giving me meds
It's, it's still nicer than the Royal
Yeah, I know
F*ck you
What
Just 'cause you get treatment
I don't
Thought you got Dr. Easton
He doesn't do anything, if I say
That's more than I get
I try and get psychoanalysis and they're like
Ah he'll think too much about it, and then I
And then they don't give me CBT either 
Even though it's like seventy five percent effective for everyone
Surely that's, is that not the
No they haven't tried any sort of therapy on me or anything
They've sorted of talked to me and suggested things like
Have you considered not dying, and stuff like that
But they haven't really
Like basically I just turn up to Dr. Easton's office 
And I say how I've been doing
Okay
And then he's like, cool, keep doing what you're doing, and uh
Really
Oh yeah, every single time
Usually
What planet does he live on
Very rarely he sometimes gives advice
Like, don't do weed
That thing that's been sort of stopping you from killing yourself recently
And what does he recommend
Don't do weed
That's the thing he recommends
That's the alternative
Coz that solves all things

And, and why do we have to die alone
It's very isolating being suicidal
Because people find it too draining to be around you
If you're too truthful with people
And people will stop you trying to
Well they'll try to stop you killing yourself
If you're too truthful to them
So you end up not letting people know quite how vicious it is for you
That's true
It's like, you can never let people too close because then they'll just
In case they
If they get too close then they'll just start calling the cops on you
Yeah, I was just about to say that, yeah
'Cause, like, although I don't kill myself every day
Yeh
I, at the moment
You think about it
Like, I make the decision to, at least at the moment, every day
Yeh
So it's like if someone were to be in our minds
They'd realise quite how dangerous it was
Yeah, it makes sense to me

It's purely 'cause I completely understand where you're coming from
I've been in a suicidal state since I was, what, ten years old
Oh I was suicidal then as well
I don't count that
Yeh
Why do we have to die alone
Why do we have to die alone
Why do we have to die alone
We die alone because it's illegal for you to be with us when we die
So we don't invite you to our deaths
We die alone
We die alone

The scripted part is finished
Why do we have to die alone
I wanted to make the music for this so good
Guess I failed at that
We have to
Unless we do it with a
Like, have another suicidal person come along with us
Because they understand how horrible it is to 

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