Expectations (feat. Rychuss Wun)

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DuWaup

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What do you do when the people around you
Have no clue how close you are to the edge
When you've been the pillar of strength
The go-to for encouragement
What would they do if they knew
The pressure of perfection
Was heavy and hard to bear
Would they care
That you struggle daily with insecurities
And you aren't as confident as you seem
What would they do if they knew
That big beautiful smile
Was fake more than every once in a while
That it was just a placeholder
Holding onto hopes for a better day
A mask masking your true fear of failing
Of not living up to what they perceive
What would they do if they knew
There are dark places inside of you
That sometimes surface
And sometimes you don't even try to reject it
Sometimes you welcome it
Request it
Desire it deeply

What do you do when you feel like you're falling but can't let it show
When it seems everyone you know is dependent on you to help them grow
While you personally feel stunted
Feeling like you're stuck in a rut of
Questioning your own worthiness
Of them
Of things
Of blessings
What would they say if they knew how far you've gone
With people
With things
In conversation
And acquaintance
What would they do if they knew you sometimes ache
From bearing this banner of strength and uprightness
What if they knew you never wanted to bear it at all
Would they relieve you
Release you from the bondage of presumption
From presuming they know you
From their unrealistic expectations
What would they do if they knew
That your imagination sometimes gets the best of you
That you imagine things that aren't pure nor well-intended

What would they do if they knew you were on the edge and about to fall
What if worrying about what they knew isn't really worrying about them at all
What if your questions are hedged around your own expectations
What if you're projecting your thoughts and feelings
On others who simply believe in you because they believe you are capable
Not perfect
Maybe you're giving yourself too much credit
Thinking they might fall to pieces if they can't find perfection in you
Maybe you're the one placing more burden on yourself than you can bear
Maybe everyone already knows you're human
That you exist in this flesh same as them
That you're tried, tested, and tempted on every end
Maybe it's your own expectations that leave you feeling less than worthy
Maybe you're being unrealistic, irrational, illogical
Because realistically there's not one that hasn't fallen along the path of this journey
No, not one
Including you
Tried, tested and proved
And maybe, just maybe
They already knew
And they never expected perfection
And maybe you can now relieve yourself of this burden
Of this unrealistic, irrational, illogical expectation

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