Motivation

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I met a Palestinian refugee
Who was bristling
From the wreckage of relationships
With an alcoholic lover
And a psychotic, slick-talking brother

Who had taken up
The idea
That the only way to win
Was to surrender
Surround yourself
With others who struggle
To locate power
Somewhere higher than the self
And its selfish
Self-interests

Who had swallowed the bait
Of relief
And got snared on the hook
Of abnegation
Of obligation to
Or complicity in
The hopelessness of the alcoholic
The delusions of the psychotic

And the slippery moves
They make
Because they can't see
Any other way
To keep moving

I'm moving on
Too aware
To dare
To believe
Anything

I'm moving on
Too alive
To play
Solitaire all day
Or literally or
Figuratively
Masturbate

I'm moving on
Too aware
To dare
To believe
Anything

I'm moving on
Too alive
To play
Solitaire all day
Or literally or
Figuratively
Masturbate

When I was sixteen
I heard myself
Say I was a freak
Because I was a homo

Thus started
My vicious cycle
Of oppression
And compassion
And exhaustion
And so many unmentionable
Challenges to myself
To ask all the questions
That occurred to me
And see where
They might go

Was it just to escape the limp jaws of ennui?
Or to put something into nothing?
As if that were possible

To have something
To talk about
Other than
Rhinoceroses
And cockroaches?
Could be so

I'm moving on
Too aware
To dare
To believe
Anything

I'm moving on
Too alive
To play
Solitaire all day
Or literally or
Figuratively
Masturbate

I'm moving on
Too aware
To dare
To believe
Anything

I'm moving on
Too alive
To play
Solitaire all day
Or literally or
Figuratively
Masturbate

I've become
Executive director
Of an evidence-informed
Non-profit organization
And go out of my way
To say
That we're just doing
The best we can
With what we currently know

Not everyone
Will go
For that kind of equivocation
I realize
But my hands feel tied
By Nietzsche
Killing god
And Rimbaud
Running guns in Abyssinia
By Kurt Cobain
Whose shotgun
Helped get me sober
But I'm not sober
Anymore

I'm moving on
Too aware
To dare
To believe
Anything

I'm moving on
Too alive
To play
Solitaire all day
Or literally or
Figuratively
Masturbate

I'm moving on
Too aware
To dare
To believe
Anything

I'm moving on
Too alive
To play
Solitaire all day
Or literally or
Figuratively
Masturbate

 Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!