The Door

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Zach Ross

6:12

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It's hard to tell which one is worse
Being alone or being unheard
One path concealed
The other taking its toll
As my hand grasped the knob
Both realities aligned
Conformed to a singular
I still don't know which one is worse

I'm afraid of
What lies beyond the door
Tormented by
Not mattering anymore

Months later
Thinking on my own again
Feeling as myself again
Taken to a better place
Yet I'm still burdened by it
I have to wonder what it is
Through the suffering I endured
Why do the memories still visit
And what is it that I miss

I'm afraid of
What lies beyond the door
Tormented by
Not mattering anymore
As I'm replaced
I forget what I fought for
Tempted to put myself back
Against the door

There's no concrete answers
It's a spectrum we're between
Was it toxicity
Or misunderstanding
I won't be your suicide letter
I won't be beckoned by the call
I'm still tantalized by what would happen
If I hadn't been there at all

I'm afraid of
What lies beyond the door
Tormented by
Giving up on someone I'd die for
As I take each day
One step at a time
I'll find reprieve
Leading me to a better life
I'm afraid of
What lies beyond the door
Tormented by
Not mattering anymore
As I'm replaced
I could even the score
But I won't fill the void
Just to grow it more

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