Spiraling

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Candler

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I think I'm talking to the walls again
Or maybe that's just God again
He's telling me not to fall asleep
And ask why I stopped calling him
I'm far too sick, intoxicated
With the love that you supply and demand
It's hard for me to understand
The true nature of your nurturance
Cause you've been sending mixed messages
I'll text you desperately
But still it is just left on read
You're heaven sent
But that makes me more scared
Than I've ever been
Led by fear like I'm Oedipus
I don't know how to meet your standards
When they're as high as heaven is
Oh God this is toxic
I always thought it was harmless
But now I'm here and it's obvious
That sorry is not an option
You tell me that it's alright
But I just need you to be honest
So many problems that's been caused
Cause of me not responding
And I've known you my whole life
But never truly had a conversation
I've rejected you too many times
But still you will remain here waiting
Never one to realize
All the prayers I had wasted
Still your presence makes me anxious
I'm too afraid to even say your name it's
GOD the man who played him
Drifting down the rabbit hole
GOD why you ain't save him
He's lifting up the ladder glowing
And I don't think I can make it
I've been spiraling out control
And I don't think my dreams can take this
Demons grasp me laughing slow
GOD the man who played him
Drifting down the rabbit hole
GOD why you ain't save him
He's lifting up the ladder glowing
And I don't think I can make it
I've been spiraling out control
And I don't think my dreams can take this
Demons grasp me laughing slow
Why is God crying
When I see him in the mirror
And I ain't know him, but I'm trying
To believe him through these lyrics
And he had called me every night
But I declined him when I hear it
He told me I was just a lie
But that's the thing I deeply feared
My halo disappeared
And now I'm falling
I can't scream for help
I lost the need for God
Because I'd seen him in myself
And I'd been bleeding from the grail
They told me drink it it'll help
But I been leaking like a faucet
Say I don't feel it like it's Braille
I feel the spirit in me
But I just want it to go away
Cause I've been feeling empty
A ghost of my lonely days
Now I'm nearing envy
All the blood did it flow in vain
Death I fear it simply
I just hope he don't know my name
Novocaine, ain't been helping me
Not think about this lifelessness
I feel when my head hit that pillow
And my iris clench
Drifting into deep sleep
I ain't high no more I'm spiraling
So I had to talk to God
That's why I'm sitting her and writing this
Asking
GOD the man who played him
Drifting down the rabbit hole
GOD why you ain't save him
He's lifting up the ladder glowing
And I don't think I can make it
I've been spiraling out control
And I don't think my dreams can take this
Demons grasp me laughing slow
GOD the man who played him
Drifting down the rabbit hole
GOD why you ain't save him
He's lifting up the ladder glowing
And I don't think I can make it
I've been spiraling out control
And I don't think my dreams can take this
Demons grasp me laughing slow
Death's warm hands grasp me tightly
The Man Who Played God
In the distance laughs, he's smiling
I wonder what's funny
But looking back the past is shining
I look forward at The Man
And I laugh too cause he looks just like me
But I've seen
The fire in his eyes
And I know he's hurting
I know he's crying when he lies
To cool the flames that had been burning
And I despise him despite
How I know we're the same person
All the kites they're flying high
Had made him blind
It seemed so perfect
It's all so worthless
So I've been trying to pray to him
But if one were to play God
Would prayer be made useless
Thinking who does he pray to
When his mood and his brain wounded
Cause we all wish to be God
Maybe he wished he was made human
I would too
But I just can't untie the knot
Wrapped so solidly around me
Slow distressing I can't stop
But I cannot lie
In this thought I can find solace
Now all that's left to do
Is kill The Man Who Played God

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