I'm Gonna Mary Gary

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Dominic Frisby

Dominic Frisby (born September 1969) is a British author, comedian and voice actor. He is best known as co-host of television programme Money Pit. more »

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I've fallen so in love with this girl
Her name is... Gary
My mates says say Gary isn't actually a girl
I don't care
I want to marry Gary

Is this some kind of joke? Gary is a bloke
I don't care. I want to marry Gary
This is just absurd. Gary's not a bird
I don't care. I want to marry Gary
Gary likes football and quizzes and going down the pub
And in the summer time she hangs out at the cricket club
I'm wanna marry Gary

She opens the batting. She looks like Mike Gatting
I don't care. I want to marry Gary
Gary's got a beard. You're being very weird
I don't care. I want to marry Gary
Gary's having time off from her job. She's a scaffolder
Cos at the weekend playing rugby, she dislocated her shoulder

You're having a laugh. Gary plays scrum half
I don't care. I want to marry Gary
Gary's not a dame. The clue is in his name
I don't care. I want to marry Gary
Gary likes steak and baked potato for her tea
And then she'll watch a science programme on Discovery
I'm going to marry Gary

Gary's got a van. Gary is a man
I don't care. I want to marry Gary
He's got a hairy back. And a hairy sack
I don't care. I'm going to marry Gary
Gary says gender is nothing more than a social construct
My mates say Gary's talking out of her rectal duct
I'm going to marry Gary

You'll have a nasty shock. Gary's got a cock
I don't care. I'm going to marry Gary
It's not hard to tell. This will not end well
I don't care. I'm going to marry Gary
We've been here before. Several times before
I don't care
There was your girlfriend Barry
I don't care
And then before that Harry
I don't care
And what became of Larry
Ah Gary Gary Gary

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