Hansel & Gretel – Wonderful (feat. Helen Petrovna & David Barrett)

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Do you remember?
Like a distant dream
Life was so wonderful
Before you kids
Married life was oh so wonderful
Now it's the pits
We did everything
We did everything
We did everything
That we could ever want to do
Without kids always here
Yes dear
Wonderful
I miss the sex
Oh my God, the sex was wonderful
It was complex
We would fornicate
We would fornicate
We would fornicate
On every single surface in here
Go on tell them
Yes dear
It was great
When your mother would
Tickle my eggs
We would copulate on the
Countertop count we went
Up and down
And up
And up and down and up
And our uglies bumped by the
Wall over there and right here
And there
And there
And everywhere
Oh, how we'd sleep through the night
And get drunk every day
Before you came our way
Why did we ever have kids in the first place
I really can't say
Wonderful
To diddle in and out in and out
It was wonderful
To fiddle all around the house
You can't add
Or subtract
You are useless in fact
You can't lift heavy things
'Cause it might hurt your back
And you puke and drool
And love going to school
And you smell really bad
And you're not very cool
Sure you clean and you cook
But the years that you took
All our pleasure and fun
Whenst hath now is forsook
Once upon a time, we had thirst
But now that's all reversed
There is no time for us
Having kids made life worse
Wonderful
Hashtag so blessed
It was wonderful
Now we're a mess
Mother, I need this
Father, I need that
Always with the hungry, cold, and tired crap
And now nothing is wonderful
And that's a fact
Nothing's wonderful
Hashtag throwback
Never had a care
Never had a care
Never had a care but now we have to
Care about caring
So carefree our life was once
Wonderful
My corn was shucked
Life before the kids was wonderful
But now it's fucked
We would screw the day
We would screw the day
We would screw the day
Away and it was wonderful
It was funderful
Shagged a tonderful
Even laughed at these puns
It was punderful
You mean wonderful
I mean wonderful
It was wonderful
Now it's all bullshit

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