Starving Black Hole (feat. Ryan Moore)

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The White Boys were cruisin' the streets of downtown Newark
Lookin' to get some play
When we noticed an ad about a rapping contest
Which we figured could get us major babes
So we entered the contest and really kicked butt
But the judges must have thought we sounded like poop.
'Cause they gave us last prize - a pair of tickets
To the factory tour at Campbell's Soup.
Needless to say, we were pretty bummed out
By the way they dissed us when we thought we'd slammed 'em
But having no other plans that day
We took the tickets and a bus down to Camden.
While on the tour we slipped on some tomatoes,
Slid across the floor on a conveyor belt...
Next thing we knew we were packed into crates addressed
NASA, Florida, attention: Space Shuttle
This is mission control. We seem to
have some unaccounted-for extra weight on board
However, our computers indicate we are go
So prepare to be blasted out of your gourd
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 BLAST OFF
We have liftoff
Soon the captain found us, and said
You're expendable
So I'm assigning you a destination to explore
Your mission is to seek out and boldly enter
A place where no man has gone before:
It's not a mini black hole
Not a giant black hole
Not a frozen black hole
But a
Starving Black Hole
Not a mini black hole?
Too small
Not a giant black hole?
Too large
Not a frozen black hole?
Too cold
It's a
Starving Black Hole
Now, we experienced confusion 'bout what he said
Together with nausea from our weightless condition
For though black holes were mentioned in comics we'd read
We didn't understand the purpose of our mission
So, the captain explained that a Starving Black Hole
Is a heavenly body that clenches like a fist
And sucks you in with a force so strong
Not a man alive is able to resist
Our job, he said, was to plunge its depths
And use our manned units to measure its pulsation
And if we were lucky, it would respond
With electro-magnetic bio-tech gyrations
Which would send our module's head into reception overload
Causing lights to blink and fuses to blow
But the captain seemed to think that we'd come out all right
If we just got down to business, and didn't take all night
So we said we were ready, and we understood the plan
'Cause we knew this was our chance to prove ourselves a man
But even though our minds were prepared to try it, we
Experienced bodily performance anxiety
Don't just stand there with your hands in your pockets
he said
Oxidize and pressurize the fuel pumps of your rockets
Check your spherical reserves and synchronize
so you can dock it with that
Starving Black Hole
So we suited up, and stood erect
Aimed our pod at the hole and pushed "eject"
And with a payload to deliver and a mission to be done
We discovered black hole probing could be lots of fun!
Don't want a mini black hole
No giant black hole
Forget that frozen black hole
Give me a
Starving Black Hole
Not a mini black hole?
Too small
Not a giant black hole?
Too large
Not a frozen black hole?
Too cold
It's a
Starving Black Hole
Star light, star bright, star whose orbit holds me tight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
swallow the manned probe I see tonight!
Don't want a mini black hole
No giant black hole
Forget that frozen black hole
Give me a
Starving Black Hole
Not a mini black hole?
Too small
Not a giant black hole?
Too large
Not a frozen black hole?
Too cold
But a
Starving Black Hole
'Cause its really very simple if you've got the right technique
The basic docking maneuver's known by every techno-geek
So with some practice you, too, can rendezvous
ten times a week with any
Starving Black Hole
And if you follow the procedures that I've outlined so precisely
All your new celestial rendezvous will turn out very nicely
For there's nothing as enticing as your very first encounter with a
Starving Black Hole
Oh, yeh!

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