I Don't Know What To Get

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I've got most my shopping done, except for one gift
My school's secret Santa is the only one left
I got this kid little Jimmy, I don't know him that much
He's kinda weird, sits by himself at lunch
I feel sorry for the guy, I should get him something good
Something to show him the meaning of Christmas brotherhood
I can get him a candle, one that smells like pine
Or some new golf clubs to swing on the back nine
A pet rock, some wool socks, a chemistry set
I can get him refill seeds for his Chia pet (Ooh Jimmy)
Some medicated ointment if he gets a rash
Or do I just give up, and give him some cash

I don't know what to get, Jimmy this Christmas
I've got nothing to go off of, no words or wishlists
An easy bake oven to make muffins and crescents
Or a pair of pants, maybe horseback riding lessons
But I just wanna see the joy that we can bring
To a boy I hardly know
To make his season special, see his smile glow

I've got a lot to accomplish this time of year
Even though we've got Santa I gotta kick it in gear
My neighbors always get me stuff, so now I need to focus on him
They only have one son, we call him tiny Jim
Just one problem, I've only seen him outside twice
So a gift is gonna be hard, I wanna be nice
I don't know what he likes, cars, paper towels or bikes
Or mittens, going fishing, a can of cranberry Sprite
Is he a messy boy? Does he need a napkin
Or a mean Crocheting kit if he's into fashion
A new answering system, so block robo-callers
All I know is my budget is ten dollars

I don't know what to get, Jim this Christmas
I have nothing to go off of, no words or wishlists
So it's gotta be good, but not too pricy
I could get him off brand crocs, or chips that are spicy
But I just wanna see the joy that we can bring
To a boy I hardly know
To make his season special, see his smile glow

Does he like board games, checkers, clue or life
I saw a QVC special on a butchers knife
His shoes I think are Nike, I've seen them in town
If he wears them on the street will he look like a clown?
Star of David around his neck, on his head a Yamaca
He doesn't celebrate Christmas, he needs a gift for Hanukkah
Wait a minute, I think we got it all wrong
Shalom to my neighbor I should've known all along

So I got Jimmy a present, actually eight
Some raisins, fishnets and Pink Floyd cassette tapes
A balloon, a harpoon, 64 pack of crayons
Shutter shades, sunglasses and Burger King coupons
I can't wait to see the joy that we will bring
To a bot we should have known
Make his Hanukkah lit when he comes home

James, you know this song is about you
This is based on a man we once knew, and loved
Hey James, this is for your funeral one day

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