My Girlfriend's a Reptilian

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Grant Charney

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She hisses when I kiss her
Half alien half lizard
She licks her lips around me
Might be saving me for dinner
She's manicured with toxic talons
Poison venom by the gallon
Makeup winged up like a dragon
Blood as cold as ice

She's a hideous transforming creature
Yellow eyes and snakelike features
Creepy crawling Cinderella
Scaly skin with salmonella
Eats radioactive bugs
And intergalactic slugs
Looks good in a human suit
But once I saw I knew

My girlfriends a reptilian
I don't know what to do
She clawed my bed to shreds
And made it look just like a zoo

My girlfriends a reptilian
I don't know what to think
She called me fat then ate my cat
And now I'm really sad

Her molt can really stink
I've never seen her blink
Her accent's really thick
I think she's Alpha Draconic
Her tail fell of but it grew back
She ate it up as a snack
Her tongue is deadly with attacks
But she can really kiss

She's a hideous transforming creature
Yellow eyes and snakelike features
Creepy crawling Cinderella
Scaly skin with salmonella
Eats radioactive bugs
And intergalactic slugs
Looks good in a human suit
But once I saw I knew

My girlfriends a reptilian
I don't know what to do
I caught her cheating on me
Eating up my neighbor Lou

My girlfriends a reptilian
I don't know what to think
She called me fat then ate my cat
And now I'm really sad

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