ESTEP And The Cutlery Drawer

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Tyrannosaurus Hives is the third studio album by Swedish rock band the Hives, released on 19 July 2004 through Polydor Records internationally and Interscope Records in the United States. As of 2006 the album has sold 176,000 copies in United States. more »

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Simon had a problem when he got home one day
By Murphy's law, his cutlery drawer, was jammed in such a way
An inch or two was all it moved and nothing more
Simon sighed and Simon cried and Simon swore

Inside the drawer was wedged a spoon; an easy fix
But Simon's mind was not inclined to deal with it
Anger boiled inside him as he gripped the handle tight
He had no use  for reason; he was ready for a fight

He wrenched it out and slammed it in, he felt the drawer resist
His actions as he spat and swore, It sounded much like this

He could not stir his cuppa or butter up his toast
But the sheer injustice was what troubled him the most
How could life be so unkind to an ordinary guy?
Why oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why?
Why oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why?
Why oh why, oh why?

Just as he felt defeated by the troubles of the day
The following commercial was broadcast on the radio

"Are you, or is anyone you know suffering with some sort of minor
Everyday, domestic setback?
With a cool head, these sorts of things can often be solved quickly and easily
But why should you relinquish the bitterness and resentment 
Which has overcome you?
Don't give in to logic and rationale - call ESTEP
Extraordinary Solutions To Everyday Problems
We'll do whatever it takes to help you win your battle 
With the injustices of the laws of physics and nature"

Simon turned to the kitchen door and hurried through
This seemed like the answer for somebody in his shoes

And his next step was a call to ESTEP
And his next step was a call to ESTEP

Stephanie from ESTEP knocked on Simon's door
The sorry scene she witnessed was one she'd seen before
She was trained to deal with any kind of small mishap
Steph assessed and ran some tests, then scratched her thinking cap

"Here's what we'll do" she stated with her clipboard in her hand
"We'll take that bloody cutlery drawer and make it understand
We've got big machinery and bombs and guns and tanks
We just acquired the kit they used on a ferry that once sank"

ESTEP Extraordinary solutions to everyday problems
ESTEP Free my drawer

They're bringing in machinery so big
It's certain that the drawer will face defeat
They've got some kind of ferry salvage rig
There may be some disruption in the street

ESTEP have left a message - Simon call us back!
All our kit just will not fit into your little cul-de-sac!

No boundaries, no borders, compulsory purchase orders
No boundaries, no borders, compulsory purchase orders

Mrs Wong at number twenty two, we're readying the demolition crew
And grumpy Mike at number thirty six
We've planned a rearrangement of your bricks

They've destroyed our street
It was the place that we called home, we wanted nothing more
Demolition complete
And It's all the fault of a fucking cutlery drawer

The cutlery drawer appears to quake with fear
The kit moves in - the reckoning is near
Simon's house destroyed, leaving just one trace
A single kitchen unit still in place

The wrecking ball swings in and frees the drawer
Knives and forks and spoons released once more
Leaving behind them an apocalyptic scene
ESTEP return to base with their machine

Simon's vengeance is complete
He stands alone  amongst the rubble of the street
Then in the silence comes a ringing sound
It's ESTEP on the phone about their fourteen million pounds

Was it really worth it Simon?

ESTEP Extraordinary solutions to everyday problems
ESTEP Freed my drawer

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