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Brian Mathew

Brian Frederick Mathew MBE, VMH is a British botanist, born in the village of Limpsfield, Surrey, England. His particular area of expertise is bulbous plants, particularly ornamental bulbous plants, although he has contributed to other fields of taxonomy and horticulture. He has authored or co-authored many books on bulbs and bulbous genera which appeal to both botanists and gardeners, as well as specialist monographs on other genera, including Daphne (with Chris Brickell), Lewisia, and Helleborus. His work has been recognized by the British Royal Horticultural Society and the International Bulb Society. more »

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I weep for the pain
With all-encompassing sorrow
My weight a great strain
No hope for tomorrow

I sit here in tears
A child in all ways
Pouring my fears
Of thousands of days

Here they are
The big ones
Ego death
But no talked-about peace

I've embraced the end
But still fear it
So should it come?
For my newly deceased spirit

Stunned with aimlessness
A breathing empty shell
Forced to carry on
By a fragment of will

Words I learned to sooth
Like coins from a tattered palm
Short to pay to remove
No cure will come from alms

Here they are
The big ones
Ego death
But no talked-about peace

I've embraced the end
But still fear it
So should it come?
For my newly deceased spirit

Can my rest be peaceful
While I still draw breath?

Bound to the way of the goner
What can define me now I grieve

Wide-eyed innocence
Resignation and ease

Can my rest be peaceful
While I still draw breath?

This time for sure
I mourn life's meaning
And ask what is the point
If what I've accepted comes anyway

No one need care
Seek and I shall find
To ask is to want
This so-called dark leads to the light

Here they are
The big ones
Ego death
But no talked-about peace

I've embraced the end
But still fear it
So should it come?
For my newly deceased spirit

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