Nanny

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Holden Stephan Roy

3:56

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Broken promises hurt and
There's always something else I'm working on
But now you're gone, and I'm without a vowel
Or noun, no song could resound, loud enough
To shower you with love, I'm astounded
By the fountains overflowing from the
Fruits of your cup, your soul was pure
From above, Gracious, never too caught up
To share truth through honest thought
Whether faith in God, or the trivial and small
You did your due diligence for it all
Like that time you mixed up my birthday
That day in the subway, the saddest look
On your face, over a simple mistake
But your wisdom was relayed
Consideration is in the details
The very name of the game
You were a rock, here I am in a hard place
My heart it aches, partly the pain
Of missing you, but it's charred by the taste
Of my guilt and my shame
You never pushed me away
But I never did rush out your way
In a periphery you did stay
You weren't a priority
And I'm afraid it's too late
To visit, but I'll relay
One of my proudest memories to this day
Is the look on your face
Playing that card game
With that sack of presents on Christmas ey
I connected with family that day
If they say you stay alive as long as
Someone says your name
Joan Wheaton you're amazing
Place that on replay

I find comfort in the peace on your face
I try to wonder if for a piece of a day
I'd have the strength to walk in your shoes
And rock virtue the way that you do
I find comfort that you can sleep in grace
I don't need to wonder if you reached that place
You's a real one, they let you breach them gates
Streets paved in gold, your spirit is safe ey
And one day we'll meet again

On this prowl for so long
All these scowls are probably
Bounding my progress
The resounding thirst for success
What in the
Right I shouldn't cuss
On this, respect is a test
And as I learn bout respect
Take some time to reflect
My time I invest
But tunnel vision blinds me
From what's really relevant
Like seeing you
Woulda been time well spent
But my time management
Leaves no time for family and friends
And since we all leave in the end
Seeing these faded memories
Laced with selfish intent
Has me pensive
It's been 4 years since your
Counterpart left, I knew better
Nanny I'm sorry, if only
Words after the fact could
Make a difference
Instead of empty promises
I'll get over my resistance
Make it work with my father, check it
At the funeral, you'da been so proud
My arm around his shoulder
Because it's actions that speak loud
Though my words often scream foul
Though the terms, are conditioned to sway
Me to burn through each day
Preaching return on effort
How to be great
The reality is humanity needs managing
And it's damaging to meander through theater
Ignoring the storm called family
The blurred line between life and fantasy
Between where I am and where I'd like to be
I guess the thing most striking in all this
You'll forever inspire me
I receive your blessing, I love you, rest in peace

I find comfort in the peace on your face
I try to wonder if for a piece of a day
I'd have the strength to walk in your shoes
And rock virtue the way that you do
I find comfort that you can sleep in grace
I don't need to wonder if you reached that place
You's a real one, they let you breach them gates
Streets paved in gold, your spirit is safe ey
And one day we'll meet again

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