bug brains

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My two best friends live two doors down
On either side of my house in my hometown
Still I don't have the nerve to go out
There's bugs on my brain but I feel no pain
No matter where I go I'm never moving towards the person I want to be
Someone who can be happy where they're at in a place in time
Someone who can be honest with what's eating away at their broken mind
I don't know where to start
From the customary cold concrete walls conjoining corners in our hearts
Where arachnids craft their chthonic castles, castling over us
And I decompose because I've seen the human centipede
One too many times to know what's good for me
It's as you suggested I am over-invested in these negative thoughts
And I can't live in the present-tense
It's depressing how I'm never present
But may I suggest that I'm the manifest of everything surrounding me these past six months
I'm the parking garage
Because I don't know where to start
From the customary cold concrete walls conjoining corners in our hearts
Where arachnids craft their chthonic castles, castling over us
And I decompose because I've seen the human centipede
One too many times to know what's good for me

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