Bipolar

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Pace

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Going to community college at Massbay
Depressive bong hits filling my ashtray
Going to class to get me past these dark days
F*ck last birthday I'm trash anyway

Spiritual death, hopeless, severely depressed
Roadless, no purpose, sincerely distressed
Speechless, I feel lost, once life was the best
Toneless, I feel dead, no beat in my chest

No suicide, waste away till I die
Lost my fight my mind my friends and my drive
Tell me why it's so hard to be alive
Sleep all day on moms couch cause I'm not alright

I'm not alright, not fine I don't know why
I stay inside and hide for days I cry
Followed by a rage a high
Unstable mind I feel so fried

I wanna know why
No matter how I try
I feel unable why
I wanna know why
I wanna know why

October 23 2011, my friend mentions can I
Show you Terrance McKenna
On Joe Rogan's podcast then I
So desperate to evolve didn't wanna live at all when I

Heard his theory apes ate magic mushrooms
Evolve into the humans fate now we all bloom
Have similar traits, perfect combination, desperation and doom
Misinformation feel the weight of the room

F*ck myself, hate being a human, it's so hard I need help
Ate shrooms all day trying to evolve into any one else
Five months straight feel my mind melt, oh well
Feeling low on the totem poll

No glow self destroyer mode
So cold with a broken soul
So throw me in a hole no one will know
No one will know

I'm bipolar you can cry on my shoulder
We gon' rise and I know it
Take meds try to control it
Time to medicate while alive so I own it

I'm a goner chemistry severely altered
I'm a monster in the psych ward with a doctor
At McLean hospital I am hostel they are hospitable
Can't calm down it is pitiful

Everything sounds in capital letters
Doc making rounds wanna get better
Manic spitting venom lotta disrespect
Can't stop the fucking
Screaming I spit in my head
When will this end

Manic depressive shrooms sent me to another dimension
Fucking demented a room chatting to characters I've invented
Fucking resent it, I'm tormented, hospitals document it
I regret it, ill fucking lament it

Undiagnosed bipolar equals deep depression
No hope couldn't feel expression
So I tried to evolve with shrooms
Thinking I would bloom and ball but it lead me to a white room
At the psych ward they said my mood would fall then grow tall
So take medication all the time
It takes dedication, all my life
This is my condition, and that's alright

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