Anhedonia

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Fire Ant Season

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Anhedonia, I sure have known ya and everything that you entail
Like unbrushed teeth for the rest of the week and a breath that's saying I'm unwell
You manifest as a side effect like a raspy voice from bronchitis
Or a mole that's right before the tumor starts to metastasize
Apprehension, I know you're wishin' that I could just make up my mind
Half-hearted drive and failure to thrive is where I seem to spend all of my time
A shaky voice is the only noise on the important things where I have a choice
I'd like to think my words are important, what I have to say is right

Ipseity, you're no friend to me because I hardly know just who you are
Aggravation and assimilation to a new mindset is my safe-guard
I'll dispel every parallel, fragmented truth of what is myself
'Til the only thing that's left is something I'm certain is not me
Obsolescence, you're omnipresent in every second of my time
I suspect that my relevance is as pertinent as a half-life
Though it makes a lotta sense when you are not a proponent of the things you do
I try to fight this fact by using a lot of big, smart words

The thing I hate the most about growing old, is that I'll turn a benign thing perverted in my skull
I want that innocence and purity in thought to see the world through some eyes that aren't so fucked up

I'll sacrifice my comfort and my dignity so that I don't have to make others uncomfortable around me
Cause I like others more than I like myself and while that may sound altruistic, it's my personal hell
I'll try to get along with everyone that I see and through that process I'll expend all of my energy
But when it comes to me and making good internally, I'm a self-saboteur, yeah, my worst enemy

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