Self Doubt

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Espiino

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Yuh
Aye
They say I'm underrated
But on the low, they hatin'
I'm working hard on every project for a dollar payment
Man, everybody keeps on telling me to just be patient
But I'm tired of waiting, so am I gonna make it?
Am I not good at what I do? Is that the problem that I have?
Is it because nobody wants to hear a faggot rap?
I mean, I hate using that word, but it's the truth, ain't it?
So should I quit creating?
Focus on graduating?
Man, this is all I have
Don't have another plan
If I don't make it with my music, it'll be my last
Sometimes I wonder if they stream my shit to get a laugh
Oh yeah, his music trash, he's gay so he can't rap
Maybe I overthink
I hate the way I sing
Maybe I should stick to writing for the better things
Maybe I'm just dramatic
I need to go to sleep
But I'll keep you updated tomorrow
To you, from me
It's like more times than not, I fall asleep thinking about what I could be doing better what I'm not doing
But at the same time, I'm putting in so much work, so much effort, and so much money into this that it's like
What else can I be doing? I don't like in a city where there's connections
I don't have family in the industry, I don't have people to repost my shit
And it's hard when you're doing it all by yourself
I gave myself a second chance and I put out a track
Maybe it could be the one that puts me on the map
Maybe it could be the one that proves that I can rap
Maybe it could get me famous, just imagine that
Here we go, my hands are shaking as I upload my work
I post the link and start promoting, waiting for the alerts
I get a comment from a 10-year-old, that's saying they're first
Congratulations, thanks for the constructive criticism sir
My story gots two hundred views, but the song gets like ten
Maybe the link, it didn't work, so should I post it again?
I start to question my decisions, seems like I never win
I'll go to check it in a little bit to see if they listen
I'm feeling stressed out, I check my phone, and guess what I see?
Soon as I pick it up I hear myself a "ding ding ding"
Wait a minute, someone from my school put out something too?
I go to click the video, it got like three hundred views
I'm not the type to be jealous, but what the f*ck do I do?
Just goes to show how far rapping 'bout sex and guns gets you
And it's the same people going up that gave me shit for rapping
Guess it's magic, how far you get with very little talent
Just goes to show how far you get when you're surrounded by plastic
When you're a dummy little fuckboy with a lot of connections
I guess I'm really not made for this, they don't like how I sound
I guess I'll just stop making music once the album is out

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