Bottom

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Marc Josh

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I've been alone for a long time
Feeling I'm picking the wrong side
Giving me hell and then blaming myself
Float away, got the vision of closed eyes
Scared of the heights, no, I do not look down
It's the hands tryna grab me but it's not a crowd
That is constantly cheering out my name so loud
But it's growling and its angry mobs all around that is
Telling me that I won't make it
Voice in my head making thoughts begin racing
Crossing the line after all of this pacing
Dangerous, how much more can I take in?
Get too close, and I might panic
Running too long, now I can't stand it
Shit from the past and these bad habits
Pain in the ass with me, you won't have it
Still tryna figure my purpose
Is it worth it? Am I deserving?
Feel like a burden, difficult person
Shut it already, I've heard this before and it's hurting
I'm gonna blow, f*ck all these thoughts, they will come and then go
You keep telling me things said before, and you think I don't even already know?
I know
I'm not perfect, but I'm not worthless
But if it's up to me, I'd bet on me everytime
Drop me to the bottom of the ocean
Fighting for my breath, my lungs are closing
Letting you go is where I begin
It's up to me to sink or swim
Drop me to the bottom of the ocean
Fighting for my breath, my lungs are closing
Letting you go is where I begin
It's up to me to sink or swim
Sink or swim
Crazy thoughts on the daily
Don't even know if anyone can save me
Don't really know if I even need saving
No matter what, I feed my mind with what I'm craving
You will never know what I'm thinking
I've been tryna save boats, I'm forgetting mine was sinking
I'm better off alone, but you can say that I was trippin
I've been falling many times to get to this position
Thoughts I am battling, repeat my rambling
Tryna break out of the chain and the rattling
Vision is blackening once again from all the struggles and challenges
All I ever wanted was to be free and to be me
And to find the meaning of the other times when I was screaming
But I know that nobody will ever see me when I'm laying down and bleeding
By myself and when it's teeming, not alone, I'm chilling with demons
How many more am I feeding?
I gotta a lot on my plate, but they be telling me keep eating
Getting full, now what I'm feeling as if I'm sinking
In my deathbed, no longer breathing
Sunk too deep, had the weight in my shoulders
Head to my feet, the place gotten colder
I feel and I see it's the way of growing older
Because I'm alone don't mean I'm a loner
Drop me down to bottom of the ocean
Screw me once, we keeping it going
Screw me twice, my decision is chosen
Don't be surprised if I choose to be alone again
So just leave me be
I'll meet you there at the end of the sea
And maybe not friends, but enemies
Forget it, from now on
You're out of my life, just let it be
I'm not perfect, but I'm not worthless
But if it's up to me, I'd bet on me everytime
Drop me to the bottom of the ocean
Fighting for my breath, my lungs are closing
Letting you go is where I begin
It's up to me to sink or swim
Drop me to the bottom of the ocean
Fighting for my breath, my lungs are closing
Letting you go is where I begin
It's up to me to sink or swim
Sink or swim

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