Feb 8th 2019

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Luyanda Mngadi

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A little ballad of how someone went from a classmate kwis'Zulu 
To being the love of Luyanda's life

It was her first day, she didn't speak
She was standin' in front of the class lookin' for a seat
On my first gaze I didn't seem
Too impressed or have interest but she sat close and at first I let it slide
She was still new so I didn't care
I was still blue from ear to ear
From previous experience of heartbreak
I was still in my dark days
But - the followin' day I gazed again and it felt different
I sat - near the window and I'd turn - south east and stare at her 
'Cause I had interest
But - I didn't rush 'cause I didn't want to mess it up
So I first chose to investigate where she chill durin' break
Who she with while she wait
For her transport and where she take her transport
'Cause that last point is important
I'd learn and fill my docket
And plot my move in the process
Each day I'd get closer
I took four days and I was fully set
On Feb 8th I made my move
No regrets I said my truth
With patience while in Jacobs with no time to lose
She put out her cigarette to listen to the words I said
And as we spoke I was confident she would say yes
I closed the space between us and she was like
"Woah, wait, stand back, why you so close?"
Jokingly I told her that I'm no joke
It went well I got her tens and soon after she went home
That same night I dropped a text and we spoke and slowly 
But surely we began to build
That was the case for the entirety of that weekend
On Feb 11 we spoke again
No time to waste, I'm on the road again
Soon after she said yes, I grabbed a hug and I felt the love in the same place
Where we first spoke and two days I made change
Days change 'cause we're both now in the same lane
Days pass we're goin' great
A week later it was a different case
There was a new guy in the picture
But I kept my cool and cause a scene
I'm no kettle I don't blow steam
Soon after he disappeared
But a poltergeist leaves a mark
And overnight she breached her card
But no delight to leave her dawg
I'm a lovin' guy so I let it go
And that was me signing a death wish
I love blind so I'm defenseless
'Cause on April 30 she left me
I felt unworthy and messy
Heartbreak now plagued me
I was so haunted and so heartless that it breaks me
Then "lucky" me it got worse
She told me that she's pregnant
And even though it's not mine I fell deeper into my depression
'Cause even though she broke me I didn't like seein' her sad
And deep down I'd do anything to get her back
Or prevent us from being less attached
She'd tell me that she miss me
But the circumstances prevented her from being with me
And due to that I failed to get over her
So for seven months it haunted me
But on November 26
I couldn't keep my feelings in so I told her how I truly feel
Without holdin' back I truly real
And thankfully she felt the same
But them old ways we had to change
But us - back together didn't mean it was always bliss
There were days where I felt trapped in a ditch 
With a lack of assist from my own girl
And I felt as if she was still trapped in her old world
I didn't enjoy my birthday 'cause I was too busy cryin' over her
But soon after I pulled myself up
And by Jan I was back up
And somehow I became distant
In Feb of 2020 I did my thing without talkin' to her
She felt I was being heartless to her
When I made a promise to her
That was a big problem to her
A huge problem for her
On the 22nd of Feb 2020 after Matric extra lessons on Saturday we had a talk
We had a heart to heart, a moment
She now had the chance to be open
We reconciled and bonded
Our foundation could harden
To somethin' true not a possum
When the sun set my love for her grew really strong
But I wasn't scared I was actually glad
That my deep, true feelings were no longer trapped
And it felt good to know I had her back
Now I had her back so she wouldn't be scared
Or try to love me less
Before Covid we had a moment so important should be noted 
We shared our first kiss
Now lookin' back on what happened it was worth it
March 17, a day in history
A movie scene you'd see in Disney
In simpler words it was pretty
Then school closed, Covid and then Lockdown
April and May were hostile
When we returned she wasn't back for a few days
But I didn't worry 'cause we do change
On June 11 she came back
I was glad to have my lad' back
She had given birth and now different
She would speak but not listen
It was clear that since we fell in love in school I was subject to her abuse
She became shady but not slim
Asanda told me that the game I'm playin' I would not win
From there forward there was beef between her and Ghost
Between her and friends, I was trapped between both
The Pens Down Party just made it worse
December 11 made it worse
From there to now it's been a horror scene
A very bad dream
Feb 8th 2019
Soul

I reminisce, remember this, dark days are a detriment
I'm sorry for being a pessimist
Back in school people had bad measurements
That made me weak and sensitive
But we'll get off the precipice

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