Soul Session 2

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UsmaN

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I've been in a different zone
Getting used to feeling distant with myself at home
I feel I'm still alone
I feel like I'm the only one to treat my former self like a show-and-tell and see my present like a living clone
Yeah, I just wanna live and grow
All you get is judgment if you refuse to fit the mold
Go to school hit the road, get a job get some dough
Get married bring her home, pick your poison drink it slow
I'm getting rid of all the toxic energy
That's bottled in hollow tips bitch you not a friend of me
Just rot in memories
Caught up daily trying to save myself from me to ever bother 'bout selfish you that's my recipe
To be a better me, live by my own tempo
I'm investing cash you would have spent on a stone bezel
Inner drive as a Porsche rose-golden and orange-yellow
Highly rare with intuition I forgot was there
Standing on my own has never been the only factor
The goal I'm after was never climbing the corporate ladder
See before and after you can film the motion capture
Panoramic photos I'm a backpacking solo traveler
Yeah, stick up the horse blinders
In my lane hitting minor bumps like a low rider
I own a Rolex from O-five it glows brighter
Call it Joe Biden it's nothing more than an old timer
See competition greet 'em with sweet condolences
Treat my story like Oedipus Greek historians
Script it out not enough characters in a tweet
And the characters in my life keep fading through fleeting moments
Of happiness and depression balanced through misdirection
I channel my biggest lessons in avenues I'm invested in
Late night, on the run, part of my daily regimen
Until I celebrate it while sitting with David Letterman, yeah
I feel adrenaline, yeah
I'm in my element now
Never relevant you're thinking it's irrelevant how
Blackout turn brick walls to a crater
And through the pitfalls may the chips fall in my favor

I'm overwhelmed with the fortune in my air
Grateful for the memories and moments that we shared
Jealousy and freedom and we cope it with despair
Trying to force emotions in us like the Joker in the mirror, yeah

We had something between us but it felt numbing
Co-dependent, broken spirit, but I kept running
What fucks me up is that we went three years and in three days flat I brushed it off like it meant nothing
Maybe I wasn't enough
Maybe I never woke up
Maybe my love wasn't real
Maybe I fucked it all up
Maybe there wasn't any sense of urgency
All these maybes got me searching for something with certainty
we juggled every decision to come up empty
Gotten to the point where talking to you was like muscle memory
Look for feelings to project but there wasn't any
I guess the love is deadly in the way I feel indifferent
Treat it like a freedom ticket
Oceans in my beaches they be waving like the Queen of England
Soak it in just need a minute
No point in dwelling on results that we never came to
Shackles got snapped off like McGregor's ankle

Yeah, see a different side of me
I'm making sense of it as far as I could see
It doesn't click often and that's fine with me
I write to understand I'm conscious of the irony

Harbor it inside of me and tell you where I stand
While you influencers got your heads up in the sand
Y'all preaching peace when it's only helping you expand
But when it's Palestine it doesn't match aesthetics of your brand, for real
Hock a loogie at y'all for moving so calm and neutral
Watching part of history boiling over like ramen noodles
I don't know people's intent I'm sure they're not as futile
But if you're taking the silent treatment like karma choose you
In the midst of the rubble with the fear of death
You often find a leader that spawns a movement like Shaka Zulu
I pray we find one soon though
The Israeli mantra's keeping Palestinians isolated like Honolulu
Yeah but we don't feel like it's common though
Complacent with that our family's dropping like dominoes
Heavy weight on their shoulders see it breaking their collarbones
Tylenol to ease the pain while the trauma grows
Bullets raining broad day like the breeze
A lil boy gets shot while his mom painfully weeps
An Archangel to me it's heartbreaking to see
On both ends I won't rest 'til our people are free

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