Shrooms At The Warped Tour (Pop Punk Parody)

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Bradley Dern

5:05

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I woke up, not ready for the day
And I got the craziest news, that blew me away
I heard that, Warped Tour, is ending
(I start to panic)
How can this, be happening
(Oh my god)
There's one, more show
and it's gonna be in Ventura
I call up, the guys
Gotta get the tickets
I'll even drive
It's the day of, not a cloud in the sky
And my friend suggested
"We should get real fried"
He said,
"We should take mushrooms at Warped Tour"
And I responded...
"F*ck yeah we should"
And then I said "we'll split, an eighth, and we'll get super goomied"
He said "good idea, I put it in your sandwich already"
Then we took shrooms, at the Warped Tour
Tripping balls, by the harbor
Now it's my time to let go, mom and dad can't tell me no
I'll cap off the summer, with shrooms at the Warped Tour
(You guys get it? Like, capping of the summer with...mushrooms? Like mushroom caps? Eh? Eh? Whatever it's wordplay, f*ck you then)
We get there, I'm ready for my favorite bands
Like Reel Big Fish, Taking Back Sunday, and even Simple Plan
But as I felt the sun's burn
The mushrooms started to take a turn
And then I saw this weird, teenager
With his arms crossed in the back
He was brooding, with angst
And wearing a Slipknot mask
(Even though...Slipknot's not usually kinda at Warped Tour...different vibe but, whatever. Do you)
But that's not all, there's plenty more characters
Like the group of guys in the beer garden wearing their frat letters
And they suddenly felt the need, to rip off their shirts
And then loudly scream
"Simple Plan is fucking sick!!!!"
(Yeah)
But the one, that fucked me up the most
Was this guy with gauges in his ears
Except they, weren't gauges at all
Instead they were
Weed grinders
(Alright, I actually need to take a second to reiterate this. This dude had gauged his ears so large that he put forreal fucking weed grinders in them. Like, ohohohoho talk about "holy moly" am I right? Like you look like this every day? Freaked me out...)
Cuz I'm on shrooms, at this Warped Tour
Tripping balls, by the harbor
Can't believe it's the last time, cut my wrist and say goodnight
I'll cap off the summer, with shrooms at the Warped Tour
I've lost all my friends now
I'm stuck with Slipknot guy
I've lost all my friends and
This wasn't the plan at all
When I first heard that Warped was ending
I wanted to break down and cry
Now I'm here amongst these fucking freaks
I realize "This needs to die"
I'm on shrooms, at the Warped Tour
I'm on shrooms, at the Warped Tour
Too much shrooms, at the Warped Tour
Too much shrooms...
But not before
I take shrooms, at this Warped Tour
Freaking out
During Paramore!
Guess it's time to call it quits, can't say that you will be missed
Goodbyes are a bummer, except for you Warped Tour

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