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Ocalypse and Rebel City

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It starts off in a moment
An emotion spent
A performance where you were wrong
It snowballs into more shit
And the focus shifts on
To staying were already gone
A free fall is in motion
As I hopelessly drift off
Dreading my remorse
The final of the solstice
Still I hold my position
For better but probably worse
Dedicated to the man that I thought I was
Thank you for letting me take control of the course
I know it's hard to see your destiny squandered
But that's the thing with trauma
Ain't no order here
Dishonor appeared and ran this shit for a decade
I'm thinking my debts paid
Lemme get some leeway
A bold nigga
Self centered
Stripped on audio
Performance oriented
Ill equipped
Switchin up 90's flows
Design half the time
Failed visual
Life in 4k is still digital
Despite this
Minimized attempt to skip the crisis
I might just flip back to my old ways and burn a bridge or two
Disorder a kin to keeping it together
Good in any weather
Shell shocked local veteran
So ahead of his time
He was allowed to perfect it
The method
Madness capitalized on my excess
To appear
To know you
(3 Words you didn't mean)
To appear
To know you
(3 Words you didn't mean)
To appear
To know you
(3 Words you didn't mean)
To appear
To know you
(I love you, I hate you, I want you)
And I still can't find my way back home
(I love you, I hate you, I want you)
I've been looking forward but I got to go
(I love you, I hate you, I want you)
And I still can't find my way back home
(I love you, I hate you, I want you)
Should I let it go
You said this before
I said goodbye
Recognize
My crime
As your reward
Stuck in a shadow
Hallowed out by
What you thought I don't deserve
Up on a mantle holds the challenge
You show rightly no concern
It's only gonna hurt on the weekend
That still gives me 5 days to strategize a defense
If you were surprised that just means I haven't peaked yet
I'm getting better with time
Settle my mind
And then release it
Digitalize form of therapy
LMFT shit
Shoutout to my Mom and Aunt Felicia
Wondering if meeting him be good for my mental health
Completely change my understanding of self
I've been equipped to handle most situations
But seeing a man they claim to be my father
In the grips of paranoia
Could trigger some trauma and leave a bigger mark than we started with
It's all pain
I won't reciprocate what others did
Devotions crossed up
Leave us doubled down
Staying toxic
Prevented the healing of the crown
26th iteration of bliss
And I'm still wondering
If burying the weight
Unaddressed would carry it forward
They say the only purpose in life is lighten the load
When there's more to existence will you please let me know
To appear
To know you
(3 Words you didn't mean)
To appear
To know you
(3 Words you didn't mean)
To appear
To know you
(3 Words you didn't mean)
To appear
To know you
(I love you, I hate you, I want you)
And I still can't find my way back home
(I love you, I hate you, I want you)
I've been looking forward but I got to go
(I love you, I hate you, I want you)
And I still can't find my way back home
(I love you, I hate you, I want you)
Should I let it go

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