muscle memory

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adelaide rhys

4:20

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I knew that it wasn't meant to be
When the thing that meant the most to me
Wasn't that you end up happy
Mr. everything her wants doesn't look like he's laughing
And you can say you're sorry if you want
Cause a liar just doesn't deserve my love
I've given up and I'll say it with my chest
I wish you well but I don't wish you the best

Staying awake when I wanna be asleep
Pretending to be everything you never saw in me
Now you're just muscle memory
It has nothing to do with you
You're just a person I can latch a feeling onto
The cycle never ends
And the space between is cruel
You zig
I zag
I thought
We had
More time
You lied
I tried
To let what blew up fall down
It's just muscle memory to find you in a crowd

Someone's gonna have to take the blame
The tables turn but it all just stays the same
The ship has sailed but I'm still standing at the pier
No more treading water
Someday you'll turn around and I won't be here
And I won't say I miss you cause I don't
I only miss the you that felt like home
Now I think that I've outgrown

Staying awake when I wanna be asleep
Pretending to be everything you never saw in me
Now you're just muscle memory
It has nothing to do with you
You're just a person I can latch a feeling onto
The cycle never ends
And the space between is cruel
You zig
I zag
I thought
We had
More time
You lied
I tried
To let what blew up fall down
It's just muscle memory to find you in a crowd

I think the poets say
What the heart knows it wants isn't going away
The petals of a rose by any name
Will rot and wilt not matter what they say
You're not here by coincidence
It's not pragmatic for you to exist in my future tense
If I weren't so fucking dense

Staying awake when I wanna be asleep
Pretending to be everything you never saw in me
Now you're just muscle memory

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