El Psy Kongroo

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Yung Mallet

Alternative hip hop artist from Staten Island, New York City more »

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A sappy type ain't an archetype that I would use
If describing myself, before meeting you
My lack of empathy and interest ain't intentional
But regardless I tend to be closed off, so I'll contextualize
I had a crush, didn't think I'd capitalize
But for months I had been pondering taking my own life
I was losing a battle to depression
So my confession was from rolling a pair of dice that could've lead to paradise
I spilled my heart to you one night
To my surprise I wore a blindfold, threw a dart, and hit a bullseye
Then convinced myself despite reality that we were concrete
I was so naive
I ain't saying that I was in love
Though I fixated on the potential
But was me and her so incidental?
Was I long term or rental?
I wish was that simple
All I know is I keep thinking about you
All I know is I keep thinking about you
All I know is I keep thinking about you
I keep thinking about you
El Psy Kongroo
I could waste my time describing every second
Talking bout any time we met, or every single text message
Could waste my time explaining why it ended
Long story short, college and a pandemic
I convinced myself the reason I was miserable was since I missed you
As if before we met I hadn't already had issues
As if I hadn't been dealing with hopelessness
Failing to cope with it, I'm afraid I roped you in
And in retrospect I guess we didn't last too long
But that didn't mean we didn't still try to hold on
But after back and forth had ran it's course I'm back to where I started
Struggling with bulimia and self harming
And I almost popped a pill to move on
But instead I used the hurt to write this song
Until it turned you from a person to a concept in my head
And suddenly I began obsessing again
The lack of closure began to smolder in me
So much time passing wearing rose colored glasses
Too entranced in dancing thoughts that there's a chance I never thought at all
And merely said poetic nothingness to break my fall for you
But I still couldn't find the gaul to give my all to you
Hadn't seen you in months, but tryna talk to you
Thinking that i had game, had wit
Til I couldn't be slick cause I was heartsick
Every vowel, each word, every verb always stuttered
Stark embarrassment from every other compliment I muttered
Harken back to every time I'd opened up
Cause what are all my secrets if I never seem to see you
And at that point, infatuation made me resent you
Now i'm drinking on a nightly basis tryna forget you
Around that time is when it hit me,
I was infatuated with a concept
I was a miserable person, and I got worse when you left
I knew I couldn't go on like this so
I forced myself to man up and stop being a simp
And forced myself to take you of the pedestal inside my brain
It hurt like hell for months but it was the only way
I spent that time tryna work out my own problems
Slowly realizing I was making progress
It doesn't hurt to merely see you when I've seen you since
But that's because i'd never dare to even reminisce
My whole life I been teetering upon a precipice
And I'm trying my best not to slip
I ain't saying that i was in love
Though I fixated on the potential
But was me and her so incidental?
Was I long term or rental?
I wish it was that simple
All I know is I kept thinking about you
All I know is I kept thinking about you
All I know is I kept thinking about you
But at least I aint still caught up on you
El Psy Kongroo, El Psy Kongroo
So if you check a recent photo you'll notice I'm flying solo
Despite the fact that partners tryna find me like a game of Marco Polo
And I'm sure that there's another person
But with my mental health that shit ain't worth it
It's like when Chet Baker said there never will be another you
I wish you the world despite feelings I had to lose but
I've dwelled so long in idealistic thoughts of what could have been
That fantasy's my standard now, and it's ruining future relationships
I'm over the queen, but not the kingdom we could've built
I'm past the rock and hard place, but can't replenish the silt
Cause I get bitter bout factors I can't control but look back
And I'm on a roll a down a hill into a hell but can't react fast enough
I'd never think to blame you when i'm sad and melancholic
But the honest fact is I'm attracted to the past that can't last
But I still thank you for the time that we shared
I might be bitter now, but i don't doubt that you cared
El Psy Kongroo, El Psy Kongroo
El Psy Kongroo, El Psy Kongroo
El Psy Kongroo, El Psy Kongroo

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