Was it Worth it?

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It was October, the summer was over
You and I were well established now, always coming on over
She would always say something like, "Oh my God you're not ordinary"
Off the heels of my last to my first, that's sorta scary
In the time of my youth, what I saw would shape the truth
And what I felt right then would have tears fall out of you
Cause I was feeling unsure, not about you but myself
Hell I ain't even cut it off with a summer fling
She would ask me about you, not your name but about your life
I said that we were doing perfectly fine, get out of sight
But she would not take the hint, and one night when we both got high
She thought that it'd be a good idea to send some pics
I looked at them I can't even lie
But then I told her that she was done, I need to appreciate mine
So she opened Instagram and began to type
She found you off of my profile, told you so then she could start a fight
Was it worth it?
She had you crying on movie night in my room
Was it worth it?
I should have never let her even have the chance
Was it worth it?
Those thoughts in mind would slowly lead us to doom
Was it worth it?
You even followed her instagram
It was the end of October, just a year later
I was working at a minimum wage, promoted trainer
On the day that we met, I could tell that something was different
I'd always catch you looking and staring
The job we worked at was making us closer
I had you on Instagram, and Snapchat and telephone number
You would always flirt with me, on the real I would flirt back
And all my friends at work would say "Nick you're better than that"
But really I was weaker than ever, a pawn to my existence
You made me feel like I was my age again
During a time of being locked inside
I chose you over her every single time, a secret of mine
No we never touched or nothing, but FaceTimed till the sunrise
While you would cry yourself to sleep, ain't that so much worse?
And I'm admitting that one time she said she loved me
I spoke so softly and said maybe I loved her too
Was it worth it?
You heard her cry and still lied to her face, you f*ck
Was it worth it?
Two years went right down the drain over a crush
Was it worth it?
Was one girl really not enough?
Was it worth it?
And now you'll never forgive yourself
It was the early 2000's when I was married
I had two sons, would have had three, but when I hit her she miscarried
An angry man who would drink way to often
Being taken advantage of by my family from overseas
And I would take that out on my beautiful wife
My children would see, I know it's hard to believe
That I could somehow make things worse for myself
But I scarred them all with a decade of court hearings, oh!
Was it worth it?
Shut the f*ck up before I hit you again, bitch
Was it worth it?
You're telling lies to my sons, I know the truth
Was it worth it?
I'm spending weekdays alone inside my house
Was it worth it?
I pray my sons don't become what I was

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