Not Myself

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Wylkez & Stollgan

3:58

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Time to sit back and spark a joint up
Feels like there's no point now I'm so stuck
Trapped with the thoughts that are in my own head
Wondering if it'd be better if I just left
Exhale and try to blow the clouds away
Same thing I do to start off every day
But before I let myself get to low again
Gonna drop this darkness on this
(Beats by stollgan)
Haunted by the thoughts coming out of nowhere
Panic attacks in public, man this shit is no fair
Feels like everyone's watching every move I make
Always the wrong direction no matter which route I take
Spending nights awake wondering why nobody likes me
Looking in the mirror like shit even I wanna fight me
Am I going crazy sometimes I think I might be
But gotta stay focused and on the side of light see
If I don't I self sabotage and keep failing
Trying to catch a break without trying I'm just standing around flailing
Preparing for the worst even with predicted smooth sailing
So it's no suprise when I can't handle shit I'm facing
But I got two feet on the ground and my head up
Goals to crush, mouths to feed, I can't let up
Family and friends behind me the right set up
Best believe I'm gonna succeed, get your bets up
I keep waiting for that break when the times right
Always see that I just missed it in hindsight
Although I'm not myself I keep trying to shine bright
And keep getting better the goals reaching divine height
I keep waiting for that break when the times right
Always see that I just missed it in hindsight
Although I'm not myself I keep trying to shine bright
And keep getting better the goals reaching divine height
Ever get so down when your thoughts go toxic
Like you bought everything you want but you ain't ever got shit
Brand new chain, but you're too embarrassed to rock it
Loaded gun to the head but still not ready to cock it
Always looking for a way out be it pills or a bottle
Or a head on collision, open highway full throttle
Thats where the thoughts go, I'm not asking for help
It's time to man up and get through it yourself
How fucked up is that? Nobody wants to do it on their own
Calling friends but your hoping that they don't pick up the phone
Always feeling lonely but not wanting to see anyone
Jealous of what others do, but don't believe that I deserve fun
Became someone that I don't even recognize
Just some malnourished sad kid that never steps outside
Self imprisoned by my own bedrooms four walls
Wrestling with the fact these problems are my own fault
Not myself but I'll be alright
This is just another day in the life
Not myself but I'll be just fine
Just gotta find that peace of mind
Always on the ps4 just trying to kill time
Pretending my friends are real but really they online
Hundreds of excuses to why I'm never on time
Trying to show up right even when I'm in my wrong mind
Always smoking tryna keep my mental game elevated
A little cocky because I know I'm still destined to make it
A lot of people backed me and been patiently waiting
For me to get back on this track and come and unleash this hating
Gotta be real now it's no time to fake it
Go and unleash the haters man I swear I can take it
Been working on my craft staying up extra late
To take the scene back, sorry now it's time to face it
Every track that I drop is gold and now you must embrace it
Half the shit considered hits now is just to fucking basic
Can't keep my lyrics out of your mouth now that you have tasted it
Only got one life
I ain't gonna waste it
I keep waiting for that break when the times right
Always see that I just missed it in hindsight
Although I'm not myself I keep trying to shine bright
And keep getting better the goals reaching divine height
I keep waiting for that break when the times right
Always see that I just missed it in hindsight
Although I'm not myself I keep trying to shine bright
And keep getting better the goals reaching divine height
I keep waiting for that break when the times right
I just missed it in hindsight
Not myself but continue to shine bright
You'll catch me in the limelight
I keep waiting for that break when the times right
Always see that I just missed it in hindsight
Although I'm not myself I keep trying to shine bright
And keep getting better the goals reaching divine height
I keep waiting for that break when the times right
Always see that I just missed it in hindsight
Although I'm not myself I keep trying to shine bright
And keep getting better the goals reaching divine height

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