Sucks To Be Me

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Rxggie

4:05

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Can't stop
Can't shake it off
Even if i try i just wanna die
Can't help myself
Can't be helped
Only those meds can make a change
That sucks and i'm losing my mind

Life sucks
My head sucks more
My brain is starting to get sore
And my feelings numb
Can't stop
Can't shake it off
Even if i try i just wanna die
Can't help myself
Can't be helped
Only those meds can make a change
That sucks and i'm losing my mind

It sucks in my head
I feel like a dread
I feel as if, i'm someone that just wants to be dead
I was brought on this earth, as a good boy
Now im wondering, since when was i a toy?
I'm a toy to every friend i make
They seem to use me, and play me in every single way
I don't wanna be a toy
I'm so misunderstood
I'm different
I don't wanna be different than others
I wanna fit in
I don't wanna be seperated within
I just wanna have a circle of friends Who are here to help
Who are here to support, not stab my back
Ruin my hopes, make me question whats it all for
Fake their smiles, waste my time
Thinkin' its a lie
It's time to say goodbye

My head sucks more than that
I was under, multiple medications for a good amount of time
My head got numb and it felt shaky
Moody all along
Can't seem to be alright lately
Couldn't swallow food for a full on year
Couldn't even make myself shed a tear
I don't think its alright
I don't think it's fine
I might say it is, but dont believe me on that part
I say that to avoid the talking part
I'm anxious about my problems
Depressed about my life, so don't wonder if i just sit there and cry
I don't like to be around people that much
I like my space and my comfort zone
But that's not a good zone
No it's not
It's somewhere where i rot
It's a place filled
With dark negativity
All my problems
All my feelings
All the trauma
Can't help, but to be there all until I feel safe
But I can't feel safe, and i can't waste my time
I wouldn't even wanna waste a dime on myself
Feel like i'm a lost case
I can't be found
You can't be trusted
I can't focus
You can't notice
I don't know where to go
My paths are broken
I've been down this road too often
I don't wanna go any path I find
They all feel the same
And feels like a loop, that i'm stuck in
I just go forward I push forward End up on the start
Feels like i'm falling apart
I try so hard to reach the surface, but i drown and i drown
I'm at the bottom of the ocean, i can't swim
i can't find the energy to get up Yeah
That's why i'm losing my mind
I keep on falling and keep on falling

Life sucks
My head sucks more
My brain is starting to get sore
And my feelings numb
Can't stop
Can't shake it off
Even if i try i just wanna die
Can't help myself
Can't be helped
Only those meds can make a change
That sucks and i'm losing my mind

I don't wanna try but i try for you
Even at my darkest nights
I make it through
You seem to be everything I need Yes you baby you
I don't wanna make you feel like i do
I don't wanna need you, but I need you and I can't without you
I know i'm a burden
I know I suck at times but I promise I'll make it out alive
I suck so much that I can't think Straight but it's okay, I still treat you as i should
I don't have hope
I wanna take a rope, and leave my neck hanging around there
Watch me swing
I don't wanna fight these thoughts in a ring, no
They can beat me, but they can't win
I win always, even if I wind up with a black eye
Yeah
I don't feel like winning
I don't feel like trying
It's just my mind
Life sucks, but i can't go on i cant sleep at night
So i sit and write these
These feelings that i get, but even in my head thats not how it is though
I get suicidal on a daily
I got to a point of cutting, cutting
Cutting a part of me thats important
My baby walked in, worried, wondered
Why oh, why oh, why would you do that
Baby I don't know it feels too bad
I just don't know what else to do
So I go on and hurt myself, because that's what I deserve
My head went south because of fear
I felt one fear and it all aligned up
It piled up
From a problem to a problem, baby i'm sorry but i don't wanna live
You make me feel alive
But without you I feel dead
I feel like i'm out of breath and it's a dread, no
I don't wanna waste your time
If you wanna stay, i'll be happy to oblige
I try my best for you, and only you
You're the girl that always falled through
Through my problems
Through my sorrows
I love you

Life sucks
My head sucks more
My brain is starting to get sore
And my feelings numb
Can't stop
Can't shake it off
Even if i try i just wanna die
Can't help myself
Can't be helped
Only those meds can make a change
That sucks and i'm losing my mind

Life sucks
My head sucks more
My brain is starting to get sore
And my feelings numb
Can't stop
Can't shake it off
Even if i try i just wanna die
Can't help myself
Can't be helped
Only those meds can make a change
That sucks and i'm losing my mind

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