The Ricki Lake Show

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Cosgrove Rushing

3:40

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Well I got sick the other day
What they call the Beijing flu
Became personal friends with my front room couch
And did what most folks do
Took the TV remote and started bangin' them channels
Continued throughout the day
It seems the whole dang world had some kinda problem
They ain't embarrassed to say
I watched me a little bit of Sally Jessy Raphael
I watched a little bit of Regis and Kathie Lee
And I didn't miss Montel
I watched Leeza, Rolonda, Donahue, and Oprah
Wasn't much more I could take
But Lord you must of known my surprise
When I turned on Ricki Lake
The show was titled "women with no love life"
Man I was feeling kinda sorry for the poor 'ol boys
Who ever made these women their wives
Then the make-up, wigs, the glasses came off
And lord for heaven sake
There you were a sittin' and a yackin' with Ricki Lake
And you were telling her every one of my idiosyncrasies
And now it's being played out for the U.S.of A
And probably overseas
And oh god with syndication it's my speculation
I've died and gone to hell
But I don't want to face your family and friends
So I guess it's just as well
You brought the house down, when you said what a clown
I was when we got in bed
June and Ward Cleaver would have talked in private
You make me wish I were dead
Then the phone starts ringing
It's your best friend Sophie, uncle Buck and your sister too
But I was at a loss for what to say
'Cause hell they knew more than I knew
Like every one of my idiosyncrasies
And now it's being played out for the Northern hemisphere
And probably overseas
And oh god with syndication it's my speculation
I've died and gone to hell
But I don't want to face your family and friends
So I guess that's just as well
Well I stood up and started walkin' 'round my TV set
Man I was wishin' I was prayin'
I was hopin' I was sayin'
How much worse can this get
But then you told them the time
When I drank too much wine
Played fire chief with my fire hose
I jumped into bed in your bra that was red
And a pair of your pantyhose
You're sharing every one of my idiosyncrasies
And now it's being played out for the Northern hemisphere
And probably overseas
And oh god with syndication it's my speculation
I've died and gone to hell
But I don't want to face your family and friends
So I guess it's just as well
Man what a bad day to get sick

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