Barking Mad

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Good afternoon sir my name is Jim and I'm from the Pet Protection Services
We're investigating a claim you've been neglecting you're dogs dietary requirements
We have Jack, you're jack Russel, registered as gluten intolerant
And you haven't been feeding him gluten free food
I searched your rubbish and found used Pedigree Pal tins
Breaching your custody agreement section C.42
We're putting jack on a long-term guardianship order
And sending you to a pet parenting support group

Barking Mad
Barking Mad
The world's gone barking mad

Jenny owned a goldfish named Goldy and she had chronic dysthymia
With low mood and sadness Goldy was floating kinda lop sided
So she took her to the Vet to see the pet psychiatrist 
And the staff treated her with stigma and blame
How could you let goldy get so depressed
It's a shocking display of pet owner neglect
The psychiatrist prescribed goldy with 15 mg of liquid sertraline
And told her to drip it into goldy's bowl
Then bring goldy in once a week for a med review
And ongoing cognitive behaviour therapy

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