I Love This Man

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Plant Medicine

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I'm blinded by a bull's eye
When the squall forms
Takes me
Like a passenger
Lost in the swirl
Of made-up burdens
Haunted by purpose
If I only had more
Time pokes me in the belly
Then reveals its score
Sometimes a mirror is a highway
Other times, a door
Reflection's never been
A good friend of mine
The image warped and torn
But I write to find a face
Clear enough to trace
A line back to its source
I'm so tired of being tired
What am I running towards?
It's been a long long time
But I'm never coming home
Sure I can visit, but
If you feel alone
There's nothing I can do
Except know this
I'll feel it one day, too
I talked to a professional counselor
To bring it all to the fore
She told me to breathe
Rewrite the scene,
But I took a detour
I'm not afraid of death
Just shaken by the threat
That he might die before
I can say I'm becoming my father
I love this man
I hate that I'm becoming my father
I bet he'd understand, sure
Memory—a honey-sweet birthright
But I favor a restored
Version of a complex person
My own private lore
I think I'm becoming my father
I love this man
It's been a long long time
But I'm never coming home
Sure I can visit, but
If you feel alone
There's nothing I can do
Except know this
I'll feel it one day, too

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