grief

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brooklyne b.

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What have I learned through grief
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You don't own people
You are loaned people

No one is gone too soon
There time is their time for this lifetime
Energy never dies
It multiplies
No man controls their time
No matter how hard they try
Thee has the final say
Release your entitlement of possession
Be thankful for experience
It takes a childlike imagination
And release to connect
Sometimes we feel things and see things
But we doubt it
Don't doubt your knowingness
All my questions may not be answered
For I know the limits of my human consciousness
I have to find the peace in that

Acceptance is something I feel in my spirit not yet in my mind
And that's okay for now
Rushing to the end won't get me closer to her
Pacing myself and enjoying the life given for
I have my own purpose here to fulfill

Speak to her out loud without feeling crazy
That bird that's staring at you is indeed a form of communication with her
Trust it
Allow yourself to be present in nature
The only place that is untapped by modern technology
Where all your memories are held
And the place that can actually charge you back
I like to be surrounded by people that knew her
Nature knew her too like I do
We both love and adore her the same
I love that the smell of sage and incense reminds me of her
When I'm journaling and reading it reminds me of her
My healing is in deep connection
To the work she did on Earth-
All the good things I do for myself now remind me of her
Brax said at our Aunt Staci's funeral
6 months before her very own transition that
People don't just die for peace
But they die
So a piece of them lives
Within every person they've interacted with
She taught me to
Be the good thing for someone else

Forgive yourself
They've forgiven you
Forgive yourself
They just want to love on you
Allow them to
The relationship can evolve into its best form

There is still time
Never forget that
Time is illusion
They can see your accomplishments
If anything the view is actually clearer now
They can hear you
Be kind to yourself

Surrender to joy
We have to choose joy
And keep choosing it everyday
While releasing the guilt sometimes attached
Your loved ones on the other side want to see you happy
Your sadness brings them sadness on the other side

People that are joyful all the time used to irritate me
It triggered my darkness
I'm learning that just because they are happy
Doesn't mean shit is easy for them
It could actually mean the opposite
They are choosing to use their grief as armor not a weapon

We all have invisible wounds its what you do with them that matters
You can grieve a person place thing belief or idea
You can especially grieve parts of youself
You need to surrender it all

I was Mourning the person she brought out of me
Who she allowed me to be
Realizing now I have the agency to be that on my own
That the best parts of me didn't have to die with her physical
But it also brought about a death I needed
Within
It called alive parts of me I thought were long gone
That I didn't even know to yearn for
Her energy is not allowing them to sleep anymore
She's waking all my dreams the f*ck up

Thank you Braxton for a love so deep
For your wisdom that stretches centuries wide
For your touch that I can still feel realms apart

Lauren London's being has been a light in getting me through
Engraved on my heart is
Keeping the connection with people who have transitioned is possible
That she hopes to see death in the way that God intends for us to see it
To have an overstanding of it
Not an understanding
That we can still have a relationship
It's just spiritual

People don't know what the f*ck
To say to you during this time
Give them grace
There's so much we don't know
Because we simply weren't taught
Grief courses are needed

I can't wait to keep discovering the nuances
Of death and ascension
So I can teach a new thing
Since this thing is inevitable
It's all about perspective and
Knowledge of the unknown and unseen
But I'm pacing myself so for
All my grieving friends
They are only one call away
Pick up the phone and believe it's them when they answer
And that
That takes belief in you first

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