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Candace Nicholas-Lippman

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They just left him there
Uncovered
Lying in the middle of the street
No one went to check his pulse
Or to make sure he had a heartbeat
Blood slowly seeps
Out from underneath
His body
Someone please tell me
Is he breathing

The cautionary yellow tape
Serves as a blockade
For us heart-stricken onlookers
Who take videos and snaps pictures
The earth shatters
From all the overwhelming cries
But my eyes
Never leave his body
As he laid lifelessly
About six three
No older than sixteen
Rather skinny
And wearing an oversized hoodie
I need to see his face
As the paramedics race
To the boy
Whose blood
Has now flood
Like a river
As they turn him over
Placing him on the stretcher

Thank God
I thought he was my brother

I am the eldest
Of six children
Five girls and one boy
My baby brother
"Papa"

Well that's what we call him
But his name is
Jordan

He's very very Tall
Handsome
Loves to play basketball
Not the life of the party
Some would say
Socially awkward
But he's just quiet
And a deep thinker
My brother

Like any young man
Loves his Nintendo and PlayStation
Or practicing the newest wrestling moves
On his two youngest nephews
He loves music
Detests school
Has a sweet spirit
And a kind heart
But unfortunately
He is a part

Of that "statistic"
Of growing up without a father present
No one to teach him how to tie a tie
Or what to do when there's a girl he likes
No one to prepare him for manhood
Or to inform him about the ways of this world
A world

That will make sure
He knows he is different
A world
That will do everything it can to break his spirit
A world
That will stereotype and demonize
All the while making money
Off his God given abilities
Keep his black history
Restricted to February
In order to maintain
Modern day slavery

A world
That will automatically see him as a threat
Because of the color of his skin
Or about how he dresses
God forbid
He walks down the street
In one of his favorite hoodies

I tell Papa
You cannot be out late at night
Riding your bike
Or playin ball with your friends
At that park you like
I try to warn him
But he doesn't understand

My brother
Jordan
Just turned eighteen
What a blessing
I say blessing
Because the world we live in
It is no longer common
For a black boy to live that long
Not when you have cops
Killing young black men
In their own backyards
Stephon clark

Stephon Clark
Was a real wake up call
As this shooting of an unarmed black man
For holding a cell phone
Was way too close to home
Sacramento

Is where my Papa lives
And all I kept thinking
Is that could've been him
Shot dead
Or how about D'ettrick Griffin
Down in Atlanta
Where the off duty officer
Emptied his gun
Into the body
Of this 18 year old teenager
Same age as my brother
I'm scared for Papa

He is a black boy
Who doesn't understand
That they do not see
Him
They do not admire his potential
They do not respect his hustle
They have already labeled
Him a thug
A menace to society
An animal
Who will need to be put down
That's how they will justify
Taking his life
His face will be broadcasted
On every news station
As a harden criminal
Or troubled Gantsa
All over social media
Hashtags will be filling up
Timelines and newsfeeds
With headlines
That another cop got off free
There is
No justice
For fourteen year old
Antonio
Shot dead for holding
An airsoft toy
No justice
For Jimmy Atchison
Killed in his apartment complex
Or the many many many many other black boys
Lying in graveyards
I am the big sister

I am his big sister
Someone tell me
How I do protect my little brother
From a country
Who doesn't think his life matters
And yes
It's 2019
A new year, fresh start
But tell that to D'angelo Brown
Who was just shot
In the head
By a Chicago cop
Where's the New Years resolution
Where America has vowed to protect
The unarmed black man
So I ask again
How do I protect my little brother
From a world
Whose out to destroy him

How

Every time I go home to visit
I have this conversation with Papa
Again and again
Showing him pictures and articles
Of the young men
Slained
Who look just like him
Hoping that one day it really sinks in
Jordan
That they don't see you as human
But just this black waste of space
And you're not safe. He's not safe

Y'all
I love my brother
He's the only boy
Of five sisters
The only one
Who can carry on
The family name
Lead a legacy
That could impact history
But each day
There's a possibility
That I could receive the call
That they took my brother's life
Because they mistook
His basketball
For a knife
I know it sounds ridiculous
But this is the world we live in

Fun fact
Down in Florida
They use mugshots of Black men
As their target practice
They are being trained and equipped
To see black men and women
As threats
We don't stand a chance
My brother doesn't stand a chance

So what do I do

I continue to pray
For you
Papa
As your big sister
I pray that Gods Hand
Of protection
Covers you
Every second
Pray that God
Opens up the hearts
Of these cops
Who have been brainwashed
Trained
Raised to believe
That every minority
Should become extinct
I give it all to you God

And Papa
Please Remember
No matter what you do
Whenever you see blue
Keep your head down
Yo' hands up
And you live

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