Numbers and Fabric

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Arsenic Mayhem

5:19

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Someone once told me I hold complete
Control of reality
I am so blessed, it don't have to make sense
It just is what I want it to be
And how I want it is you're my little doll
Don't worry about me at all
We can pull through the years
I will take your tears
Cause I'm a person and a half
Magic physical appearance
I can turn depression to laughter
And turn paper thin
Look to the sky
Burn holes with your eyes
Through space and time
Foresee it all
No I don't have to try
I simply just find
And feel what it's like
To be the ruler of the world
All I can feel in my sorry sick stomach's
The infinite vitriol, absence of light
No, this is part of the act, I am doing alright
Ideal body and soul and I don't have to try
It's impractical, now I am prying and blurring
The wrong and the right and on paper it still says I
Feel so alive, it don't have to make sense
How the ruler within me's corruptly intense
Now, I'm half of a person
But lend all your bags and don't relent
Give it all to me
Love, you still are my doll
And I climb up the walls
Cause I give it my all and nothing seems to change
But it has to be perfect or I deserve to die
You will do what I say
But it's not real, there's no sense in my world
Today is gonna be a wonderful day
The vice, it will surely decay and
Wash away and I'll be clean again
And I'm alive today
And I've got two hands
Two things I can control
Some things we can't control
But I am in control
I'm still spiraling out of control
I may spiral and circle back into my hole
Turn up back where I came
I have never been good with directions through the ether
Telling myself such nonsensical horrible things
And unspeak it immediately
Look to the sky
Burn holes with your eyes
Through reason and rhyme
And those comforting equations
No matter how hard I try
I can't seem to find
Or feel that I am worthy or
Powerful at all
Today is gonna be a wonderful day
I'll believe harder this time
Sometimes I want to escape
And forget all this strife
Should I just give up?
No, not today
I cannot give up
Float in numbers and fabric
Don't speak it out loud
No, nothing feels real anymore
When everything's magic
I hate you

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