The David Smith Monologue

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Lil Percoskett

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My name is david smith I live in a working class town 
In the north region of the east midlands
My wife's name is susan smith and we've been appily now for 14 years
Every night me and sue watch something nice on the telly our favourite is itv
Our son oscar smith has recently fell in with a bad crowd 
Of local persistent thrill chasers
The types that loiter on corners reciting bleak poetry they've written

The ringleader of the lot of them has a fancy name with a colour in it
He's a tall eccentric lad with this ridiculous haircut and penchant for cannabis
Personally I think he's a totally druggie
Now I like a drink every now and again
And when I go I go hard but smoking your mind 
To mush in your bedroom that's just bizarre
Now one day oscar comes home when I've had a few too many drinks
I grabbed his by his coat and tell him to stop hanging round with those freaks
He said I was just drunk and this made me mad cus he knew he was high
So I balled up my fist and punched out his lights
Then ran to his bedroom and took down the posters of the band that he likes
Can't remember name maybe luddites

Sue came in crying and I told her he's gone
She's pleaded me no but he's done too many wrongs
He's 20 year old he's needs to get his own place
Susan just cried with her hand to her face
Packed oscars things and kicked him out with a skid
With my finger to the heavens said I'm done with you kid
Then I looked in his eye and only said this
You know who I am? I'm david smith

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