Alive!

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Dan Bauer

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They'd form a single-file line, carry on with some last goodbyes
All dressed in black, they'd cry, cry, cry, cry
You can't hurt no more inside when your inside's formaldehyde
Hope that mom won't sigh 'cause she tried, tried, tried, tried
But I'm still alive
Parked my car on Prospect St., but this wasn't the scene that it was last week
No begging and pleading. No flowers, no crying
Really nothing much, just me and my piece
Wrote and posted my note, yeah
Dotted my I's and crossed all the T's
It's kind of nice in these last few minutes
Before one of her neighbors got to call the police
No more trips to the hospital, parents got me doing these overnights
Honeymoon suite prices for a cot
The fuckin' chicken tenders sucked and so did the fries
No more Hallmark speeches from my friends saying
Keep your chin up for happier days
A month and a half of toying with the thought
But pretty soon it'll be all okay
I lifted the glock to my temple and this woman came jogging by
She was almost the last one that ever saw me while I
I was still alive
So I loaded the bullets, now just had to pull it and wave goodbye
Finger on the trigger, I stopped and, honestly, I don't know why
Cause what's left to live for when you let the right love go to waste
And the rest of your life's just a fruitless, endless, hopeless chase to replace
Well it's two years later, so I guess I got through the worst
Still almost jumped off a parking garage on the 4th of July
Shot my laundry and ruined like half of my shirts
You don't know what you got till she's in Austin alone
And you ain't going to Greece
Half all your friends are engaged now
And you're still third-wheeling at the beach
Well the other day I spilled my guts again to like the hundredth friend
But for the first time I actually heard him when he said
He was glad that I'm
I'm still alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Oh
And I don't see no God, just sky. That stance ain't been revised
To say I've redeemed my mistake is a lie
Corona's kind of killing the vibe
We're unemployed and terrified
But it's cool, I'm enjoying the ride
'Cause I'm still
Here to say "thanks" and "I love you" to the ones
That threw me a rope when I was willing to drown
Who were right all along when said there's still plenty
Here to make it worth even sticking around
I fucked up a big one, yeah. That life of a dream, it's dead
And all that's left here anyway is... fuckin' anything I want instead
I get high, I get low, and I got places to go
I got some striking out to do
I live it, I lose it, I learn, and I love
And there's always a chance that you can start anew
This ain't just the first time in two years that I've felt the chills
It's the joy of a life to finally feel when you're still
Still, still
I'm still alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Ooh ooh ooh ooh alive
Oh

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