Magnum Opus

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Lost in my thoughts, in my feelings, I was dead wrong
Took away your spirit, I ain't kidding I was head strong
Lost in my head, inside dead what could go wrong
You'd get upset such dread we won't last long

I've never been a quitter, I'd never let you walk away
Never been a winner, but you had made feel that way
With you I'm a beginner a decade later I'm still amazed
I can't find myself without you there guiding the way

I can't bare to be this way
I get scared you'd leave but wait
We'll make it better one day
I have led myself astray
I admit I have been played
Here I sit I have been made
Here I stand a shadow man
A mere glimpse of had been me

A mere silhouette an empty frame
But that don't matter now
I have spoken my mind and I can gather how
You can withstand it all, while I shatter ground
And you been my better half as I stagger proud

And they may gather round, but they don't matter either
How can I be social when I'm dangerous as ether
Hot tempered and short fused and I ain't pleasant neither
Got delt a bold truth and I'm the peasant receiver

I always told myself, Success is what could relieve her
Lying to myself, I bet I that could deceived her
I let it all go far, I can't believe it neither
I let myself be complacent my very own Caesar

And I just want to scream
I'm hoping it's all a dream
These demons are extreme
Nothing is as it seems

We've always been a team
Now I sit and day dream
Wanting to take it back
wanting back self esteem

The pressure lingered, it's all in our heads love
Our flame cinders, burn, two pairs of the same glove
The blame bringers churned but spare me the lame stuff
Our name withers turned fragments and space dust

I'm still the same love, and that's all that mattered
I had stood by you while the whole world shattered
I had been your man till there was nothing left
Every part of my being in your name gathered

Every part of who I am Every memory of this man
Would forever hold your name
Would forever be yours damn

I had nothing left to give
But nothing left to hold
So together we had lived
Till the story got old

I try to focus, but nothing really mattered
Ever since it happened feels like I never had her
I remember I had asked several times what's the matter
Pit in my stomach drops and I fall off the ladder

Soul torn bones shatter I want to rip out my heart
Crush in my palm watch the blood drip out in floods
I keep trying to make sense, but sense has become a sob
And I'm a mere shadow of what could have been at the top

I second guessed every syllable, every memory
Every time you were on my mind and what you said to me
Every lie every breath every second in every week
I've been made into something that I thought I could never be

I go to sleep, dream scheming I could damage myself
I'm  in too deep, These feelings are savage I guess
I'm feeling weak, you've taken me apart and what's left
Is an empty shell unfeeling and something of a mess

But you make my heart skip beats and I break open
Make my mind mislead what I make spoken
Make me feel this weak and I ain't hoping
For another word this week cuz I ain't chosen

Let me work its bleak but had me hoping
It'll be fine its just me and my own coping
Mechanisms this dear is my own opus
You are on my mind so let me focus

Unrelenting I pen these rhymes in regardless shots
Without a care for the word only the helpless sob
I need to vent from all that this Madness brought
Unending I speak my mind's discarded thoughts

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