LOL

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Jason Kanabay

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I can’t believe that I made it here
Either out of my passion or out of fear
Please just give me a sec
Was drivin’ the train when it fell off the track
Met a couple of jokers along the way
It’s easy to laugh when you’re far away
I was able to dodge an attack
But a pig isn’t happy when denied a piggyback

I’m wasting my time just addressing ‘em
Probably give ‘em adrenaline
Messin’ it up
Writin’ this just for the hell of it
You know my pettiness big as an elephant

Tell me that I’m the one wasting my time
Yeah, I’m the one that’s wasting my time (huh)
My work in these last two years
Is nothing compared to the effort you put into 
Making sure I knew I wasn’t enough
Making sure I didn’t wanna wake up
Making sure I didn’t know what it was
That gave me the right to deserve any love

I’m tired of fakin’ that my generation
Is willing to fight more than hide in a basement
There’s difference between what you say to their face
And the words that you type in a text a day later
I’m tired of hearing the classic who did it
When people are pointing all ten of their fingers
There’s no credibility, ain’t no stability
When you can unleash your hatred anonymously
We all hated the villains in fairy tales
Good guy will win and the bad guy will fail
But the question now isn’t what others will do
It’s the question of if you will let them get through to you

I let you push me around for a little bit
I know you hated the way that I kept at it
You used to make me retreat at the sound of your name
But I’m ready to step out the cave
You’re not villains that I used to read in the books
You’re the little old witch that would hide in the woods
You’ll just stay at my door screamin’ I never win but
(I already did)

Never let them see your face
Never let them say your name
Never tell yourself that it’s too late for them to take your pride away
Now isn’t this fun? 
You’ll play the king, I’ll play the pawn
I tried, I failed, I lept, I fell
But keep on laughing, LOL
(Keep on laughing, LOL)

All my life I’ve been lookin’ for a payday
Day to day, there’s no strategy 
I wanna be my idols but be a pioneer
And I feel like this been done before, so let me switch gears

By the age of ten I wanted to pretend
I could tour around the world in our family minivan
By eleven, now my bedtime wasn’t seven
But I dreamed it with my head in the clouds
My brain in heaven (yeah)
By twelve, my mind dwelled in myself
Should’ve called help when I lept and I fell
It’s that age when the cliques start clickin’
And the clothes stop fittin’
And the friends start switchin’ (ay)
Thirteen, first kiss, first love
First night out late, first all of the above
Fourteen, new school
New people you can love, new people you can hate
(No people you can trust)
Moving on, fifteen, got no self-esteem
Got more sleep than dreams
Covid hit the scene
Released the first track, took a couple steps back
Got comfortable but never relaxed
Relapsed, free backs, sixteen, at last
Got an album on the table
Got a beat that could be fatal
Got a label that he made 
He’ll never be known to be stable
Topsy turvy like a dreidel
Little like he makin’ play-doh

But he’s seventeen now
He’s seventeen (wow)
And if there’s one thing that I learned 
They’ll take what you love and use it as fire
Well what’d you expect man
I’m back, you think I retired?

Never let them see your face 
Never let them say your name
Never tell yourself that it’s too late for them to take your pride away
Now isn’t this fun?
You play the king, I’ll play the pawn
I tried, I failed, I lept, I fell
But keep on laughing
LOL

(Alright, that seems like a good place to end it
Damn, two and a half years and it’s finally over
Nah, I’m just kiddin’, give me one more minute
Here we go)
(Ay, ay, ay, ay)

If I never make it and I was just wasted
I’m glad that you stayed for the show (ay)
Now I ain’t a chemist, my motion kinetic
Potential is all that I own (ay)
Two years in the makin’, not Kevin, I’m bakin’
The music, the rhymes, and the flow (ay)
I’m basically finished, just give me a minute
I promise then I will be gone
Will I get picked up or left on the side of the road?

I feel like I’m paranoid
What is my selling point?
Wanna be different but not make ‘em annoyed
Just the suburban boy
More like a humanoid
Lyrics so cold you would think that I’m Illinois

Actually, I take it back
You can scratch that
Easy to talk a big game like a Cadillac
When in reality, feel like a grey Kia Soul
With a dent in the bumper and nothin’ but holes
I mean seriously, feasibly, ever so easily
It’s been a very humbling experience 
See, I have some tracks I can’t even defend
That I’m still too embarrassed to show to my friends
And not even my family knows what I’m writin’
I’m scared that they’ll know what I bottle inside
And the people around me don’t know what I’m dealin’ with
Even the close ones, you don’t know the half of it

Wow, this verse got a little too real
But shouldn’t my lyrics reflect how I feel? 
Don’t drag all your problems straight into the light
‘Cause it makes you look weak and easy to fight
And do y’all think that I am blind? 
I see kids in the hall get that look in their eyes
When they notice me, so to speak
Chortle and choke at me
I know when you only validate jokingly
Don’t tell me my writing could be better when you can’t even write one letter
Don’t tell me I’m awful again and again when I know that you listened beginning to end

And I’m done with the drama, don’t even bother
Mastered my work and I’m takin’ it farther
But I’m signing off, you know that I love ya
Been a long trip to finish what I started

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