@ (feat. Henry Knollenberg)

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There were continuous streaming red lights moving forward all around me
The sensation of floating
Such a smooth, safe sensation, secure
Moving so quickly, the experience felt beyond time
An everlasting moment, bound between beginning and end
A liquid moment, the solid ground meeting the unrestricted air
Not the collision, but the passing through
Ignorance of the anticipated explosion
Swift, arpeggiotic melodies contrasting slow steadfast ambience
Both complimented by repeating rhythmic funk
Traveling speeds at well over a hundred miles an hour
But then again, it couldn't have been much more over 25
We were tunneling through existence
A roller coaster that won't stop
All I want is for the force to relinquish
Yet I take no action, as the pain caused by the disruption is speculated
To be far worse than allowing the ride to run its course
The only true anecdote would be to decided to board
I chose to do nothing, as that is all that I can do
However, my decision to do nothing is also the choice to allow everything
Therefore, I'm really doing everything
As everything encompasses everything, passive and active
I can't do nothing
To counter this predicament, I must choose the most minuscule act

I close my eyes: complete terror
A stationary free-fall seemingly never-ending
I'm aware of everything, it's too much
Overloaded by what's going through my mind, body, and surroundings
Three become one
Focus, my eyes are open
My perception has shrunk to the size of a quarter
I'm walking through the desert at this moment
A giant pair of glasses rests in the sand
I can hear the voices of those near me
They are gigantic, yet distorted and distant
Words spell out within the clouds above me
Everyone is just trying to make everyone feel comfortable
Woah

The conversation is flying around the room like a three-dimensional game of Snake
There are multiple players and multiple overlapping games
Each representing something different
The first, conversation
Movement is second, thought is another
Yet is found in conjunction to all, but still is its own singular entity
Music, light, physical entities, both animate and inanimate

I'm trying to get everything down that Jaden is dictating
I'm seated upon a stone pillow, surrounded by abyss
I'm at a desk, accompanied by a gas lamp, ink and quill
A pillow is tied to the top of my head. A plume penetrates
I can see Jaden in the dark sky, his voice booming
Furiously transcribing
I understand nothing that he says
A goblin suddenly appears on the ceiling
I run atop the stone wall of the dilapidated castle
It is following at movements just quicker than I can perceive
Huge luminescent, horrifying yellow eyes, perfectly round

I'm not running away, I'm running after M
I can see her clung to the 12-foot-tall fence, adjacent to the highway
It's dark and it's storming
I begin multiple sentences simultaneously, and fail to complete a single one
She is silent, I think drooling, possibly asleep
I do love her so
The fence electrifies with a loud hum and blue sparks of light
Accompanied by tinny explosive sound waves
There's a naked red-haired man on fire, located on the opposite side
Attempting to f*ck the fence: he succeeds
A gallon of white, hot steaming liquid flows out of his penis onto M's leg
Like spilled milk from a carton, but burning
I can't handle the feeling of feeling feelings
I'm sorry, I just don't know what you mean
M takes off running across the dilapidated stone wall then stops mid stride
Perception has rotated 90 degrees to the left
She is frozen mid-air, everything is steel
A coiled snake, about the length of half a football field
Quickly slivers up and swallows M in one gulp, sucks her insides out
And spits out her skin still resembling her image, yet quite deflated
The skin suit floats the ground, back and forth as a feather does
Perception is restored to its original state

Do you want to just keep going, do everything
Or do you want to do like, cuts?
I feel completely devoid of love
It's sad to think I can't connect to the sad guy with the acoustic guitar
I just find that dumb, they all seem exactly the same
"Huh, that's sad" "Yeah, I don't know maybe"
I'm not used to reading my own writings
Reading in my head. I'm laying upon my bed
I cannot seem to find a resolution between the urge to act
And the desire to continue my current state for eternity
One feels impossible and the other is impossible
Without partaking in unhealthy behavior
However, the present behavior could also be construed as unhealthy
To wallow

There's a mental barrier that sometimes sleep can only overcome
This could be the result of needing more rest, and more unconscious time
It could also mean that I'm just prone to becoming stuck in a rut
However, the case may be, I have yet to discover a solution
This actually is not entirely true, as I said before, sleep can often help things
This results in me losing eight or more hours of precious time, most often more
And also partaking in masturbation
But this often leads to losing one to three hours of time
It can make me depressed if I cope with such a method too often
This method can often get in the way of productivity
As during the periods that I am active, I have trouble thinking of anything else
This gets in the way of reading, film, music, and discernment
I cannot think straight
Which causes me to become irrational
When I make irrational decisions, I feel that I lose my grip on my sense of self
Which, in turn, causes me to feel depressed, and very anxious
I stated above that I have a distaste for sleep
As it causes myself to lose quite a bit of time
I should clarify that I am unopposed to sleep
When I feel that it's time to partake in sleep
The problem that I have is that these stagnant moments
Most often come at times when I do not have this feeling of readiness
The problem in the past is that I can never come to this feeling
But at the present moment, I feel like I have it mostly under control
It is sometimes still a struggle

My lord, my luge, the only love that could be for thee
Could not exist, should not exist
And I cry out to the all-fleeing spy
I wish this love would not persist
And it begins to rain
Water falling through the sky, the big rift is on its way
Sighs okay quivering "I love you"
Prickly, like a gust of air, a quick one
Yeah. Crying. I'm so sorry. I have to do this
I need to get better, again
Yeah. Sternly, I'm glad I did this
Later, I'm glad I was the one that actually did this
Today, I'm benefitting from the fact that you did this
Whatever. I'm not happy about anything
Reality, not I, my voice is not your voice
Discontinue: to begin with a downward slope, quite steep
Quickly turns to a slight upward incline, progresses Fibonacci style
After some kind of drop, there is no more
No more is of course so much more
Here, the rain never ceases or deceases
And we continue

I have an idea for a story
There is a house with an attic
Inside the attic, there is another house
It is assumed that individuals are living within this attic, within this attic's house
But no one has ever met them or fully seen them
The residents of the larger house act as though they do not know
This house in the attic exists
Someone, possibly the main character, whoever that may be, goes inside
Not sure for what reason as of yet
Inside the attic's house, which appears quite small
But is in fact very large, is the larger house's interior
The residents of the large house live inside the attic's house
It is unclear yet, if it is the same people
Or if there is a different explanation
Such as clones, representations, lookalike actors, hallucinations, et cetera
I am really unsure of who they are
I am really unsure if I should pursue this story
And I'm really unsure of who I am

Ghost, not android, want race unfortunate, frightened to end
It is not special, it is just all
You know, speak love of ugly, ick fat yum, feeling
It is more important, it is of a higher purpose
It is meant to be, it is special
I want to be apart of it
I

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