Su Cara Oscura

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Speedy Justice

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I was too young for the love of a woman
Yet Rosa and I kissed like blue movies
Passion like a single torch from double brittle vines
No one knew but her father
And never a heavy eye or a harsh word
Did he say to me in many long years
They called me greenie because I am gringo
I burn in the sun and they say get red as giberela ears
But Papa told me Rosa's mother would approve you
So do I, said his finger on my chest, so do I
The day before her 15th birthday
We were heavy on her bedroom floor
When she sensed a blackness at the stairs
Her face rigid and fearful, we stood and waited like bait
The door swung open and the look on their faces
Chilled our heart
The father and sister and brother
There at the threshold
Papa's dark face
Her siblings pushed by him, into her room
Her brother grabbed Papa's shoulder, but he would not be moved
Papa has something he must tell you said Maria
Juan wouldn't look at me his eyes full and sad
But Papa would not be moved, his eyes blazing into her head, just above her dark eyes
The strong pull lost his balance
And one foot in my room, one in the hall
There Papa stayed with his dark face on me
Just a boy I panicked looked for escape
How to save Rosa from disgrace, maybe worse
The sister said again your father has something he must tell you.
Rosa my love she let go of my hands and stood to face her father
What is it Papa she says What have I done
He held out a wooden box, his eyes lowered to the floor
His one foot in her room the other still unsure
We strained to hear his voice, our breathing must quiet
Papa says My youngest is no child my heart is breaking
My eyes blinked and she is gone a strange woman in my home
Their hands shaking she reaches to possess the wooden box
Rosa held it and looked nervous at her father sister and brother
Sister Maria told her it's OK, just open it
Her hand trembles as she opens the blood red box of cedar
To find a small tiara
Brother Juan said we have done secret, we lied to you from our heart
But we have enough money, we have been saving for months, and
Rosa your quinceanera will be tomorrow at one pm, in this home
All is finished, everyone is invited
Sister Maria told Rosa This tiara was worn by Abuela and mama and me
I tell you in turn, Rosa Victoria de Castilla, you are our family legacy
His eyes unclear now, Papa held out a blue envelope with Rosa in script on its face
The last thing your mama was able to do on earth
Of her own body was to write you this letter to be given to you
The day before your quinceanera
I longed for years to hear her voice, but I never peeked
It is sealed with her unbounded love for you
As he reached to hand it to her, he fell into her room
He sunk and moaned as if a dagger was pinning him to her floor
Rosa fell beside him quivering and took her letter
Giving in to sobs of sadness delight
Her mother's voice from her childhood
We all fell on the floor hiding our tears, even brother Juan
A grief we come to know and live beside
To weave our lives around
Can come back as fresh as rotting berries to pierce our heart years later
The Lord gives us a loan of love and often takes it back to himself
And our grief is interest on the Lord's loan
The interest grows and never is paid in full here in this world
The love is worth the pain, it makes us more than human
More than human but back to spirit again

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